Update: Funny Windows Error
Thanks to all of you who have sent us your funny SQL Server and Windows errors. Here are a few more contributed by Sergei Yakovlev.
2001-09-26
210 reads
Brian Knight
Funny SQL Server Error Messages
This is the funniest error message Brian Knight has ever seen in SQL Server.
2001-09-18
7,249 reads
Death of the Production DBA
If you see a priest outside your cubical, beware! He could be trying to read you your last rites. If he hasn't showed up yet, don't worry, he'll be over shortly because the production DBA is dead or will be shortly.
2001-09-10
9,653 reads
Review: Loading Sample Data with DataTect 1.6
So, you've created a database and application and want to see how it operates with a substantial load of data In this product review of Datatect 1.6, you can learn how this third-party product could help you benchmark you database with a lot of sample data.
2001-08-15
3,909 reads
Database Growth Monitor
The script will monitor the growth of the databases on your server. It is really meant to just get you started on a more detailed solution.
2001-08-08
5,330 reads
Kill All Users in A Given Database
This script will kill all users in a given database. Before disconnecting, it can optionally send the user a NET SEND Message giving them a warning to disconnect. To run, simply call it like usp_killusers 'dbname'. Make sure the @dbname parameter is not the master database.
2001-08-08
4,481 reads
Quickly Enable/Disable Triggers and Constraints
When loading data, nothing can be more frustrating than having to deal with stubborn constraints and triggers. This is especially true when you know your data is fine but the constraints are too prohibitive for a mass initial load. Here's a technique I use to disable the constraints and triggers temporarily during a mass load. […]
2001-08-08
3,077 reads
Optimizing DTS Data Loads
In this article, Brian Knight shows you the different ways to load data in DTS and how to optimize the Data Pump task for data loads. He also examines performance numbers on other data loading tasks in DTS.
2001-08-02
7,484 reads
FAQ : Why can't I see my text field's data when using ADO?
In this FAQ of the week, you'll see one of the most common bugs that programmers run into when programming using ADO against a SQL Server.
2001-07-06
32 reads
XP_ENUM Stored Procedures
Digging a little deeper this week into extended stored procedures, we find the xp_enum procedures. These
procedures require no parameters but provide a handy bridge to the operating system and is extremely helpful for developers.
2001-07-05
3,509 reads
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Creating JSON I
On SQL Server 2025, what happens when I run this code:
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