Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Bru Medishetty SSC-Insane Points: 23606 More actions · Answer 1

Alvin Ramard (12/9/2009)
Bru Medishetty (12/9/2009)
Grant Fritchey (12/9/2009)
I always forget this one. How do you flip the "run faster" switch to the on position in SQL Server?
I see 4 Switches on my Server,
1. Run 2 times faster
2. Run 4 times faster
3. Run 4 times faster
4. Run ar normal speed - recommended
😛 😛 😛
I've seen some with 2 switches:
Run Slow
Run Slower
🙂

If you have not found these 2 slow running switches and want to add that capability, try this.

To make the Server run Slow -- Add triggers on all tables in all databases

To make the Server run Slower -- Modify all the stored procedures and do updates, deletes using cursors.

Bru Medishetty

Blog -- LearnSQLWithBru

Join on Facebook Page Facebook.comLearnSQLWithBru

Twitter -- BruMedishetty

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 2

Grant Fritchey (12/9/2009)
I'm honestly trying to help the guy, but man... could you make it more difficult?

Post the questions in Sanskrit? 😉

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004514 More actions · Answer 3

Grant Fritchey (12/9/2009)
I always forget this one. How do you flip the "run faster" switch to the on position in SQL Server?

exec sp_configure 'Run SQL Faster',1

I've actually given that to someone because they were insisting there was a setting that made SQL faster.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 4

GilaMonster (12/9/2009)
Grant Fritchey (12/9/2009)
I always forget this one. How do you flip the "run faster" switch to the on position in SQL Server?
exec sp_configure 'Run SQL Faster',1
I've actually given that to someone because they were insisting there was a setting that made SQL faster.

Just to be safe, you run this one first.

exec sp_configure 'Turn Server On',1

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

spaghettidba SSC Guru Points: 105732 More actions · Answer 5

GilaMonster (12/9/2009)
exec sp_configure 'Run SQL Faster',1

Wow! Thanks Gail, I'm trying immediately on my production server. :hehe:

Would you also recommend (as a fellow expert) turning on these switches?

exec sp_configure 'Auto Pilot',1

exec sp_configure 'AI mode',1

-- Gianluca Sartori

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004514 More actions · Answer 6

I'd watch out for the AI mode personally. It's pretty experimental and who knows what will happen if you give your server autonomy.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Luke L SSC-Dedicated Points: 35547 More actions · Answer 7

GilaMonster (12/9/2009)
I'd watch out for the AI mode personally. It's pretty experimental and who knows what will happen if you give your server autonomy.

And here I thought that's what Larry Gonick's Raw Materials strip was attempting to chronicle.

-Luke.

To help us help you read this[/url]For better help with performance problems please read this[/url]

Kit G SSCrazy Points: 2888 More actions · Answer 8

GilaMonster (12/9/2009)
I'd watch out for the AI mode personally. It's pretty experimental and who knows what will happen if you give your server autonomy.

I'm sorry, Gail, I can't execute that query...

-- Kit

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281344 More actions · Answer 9

Gianluca Sartori (12/9/2009)
GilaMonster (12/9/2009)
exec sp_configure 'Run SQL Faster',1
Wow! Thanks Gail, I'm trying immediately on my production server. :hehe:
Would you also recommend (as a fellow expert) turning on these switches?
exec sp_configure 'Auto Pilot',1
exec sp_configure 'AI mode',1

My favorite is the

exec sp_configure 'You come do it for me',1

Reconfigure

Though it could be just as dangerous as the AI setting.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004514 More actions · Answer 10

CirquedeSQLeil (12/9/2009)
My favorite is the
exec sp_configure 'You come do it for me',1
Reconfigure

Potentially a very expensive setting. In terms of money, not server performance. 🙂

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 11

Lynn Pettis

SSC Guru

Points: 442467

December 9, 2009 at 10:01 am

#1090003

Anyone see the spoon? 😛

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281344 More actions · Answer 12

GilaMonster (12/9/2009)
CirquedeSQLeil (12/9/2009)
My favorite is the
exec sp_configure 'You come do it for me',1
Reconfigure
Potentially a very expensive setting. In terms of money, not server performance. 🙂

Thus, the reason why it could be my favorite 😀

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 13

Lynn Pettis (12/9/2009)
Anyone see the spoon? 😛

Someone needs feeding? 😀

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004514 More actions · Answer 14

Alvin Ramard (12/9/2009)
Lynn Pettis (12/9/2009)
Anyone see the spoon? 😛
Someone needs feeding? 😀

Our friend of the vague questions.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442467 More actions · Answer 15

Anyone have a polite way of telling someone to learn how to debug their own code?

I'm trying to help, but any time I try to write something about doing their own debugging at the moment it seems a bit caustic to me so I don't post it.