Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • Jeff Moden (1/6/2016)


    SQLRNNR (1/6/2016)


    Jeff Moden (12/29/2015)


    Grant Fritchey (12/29/2015)


    That picture has always struck me... it's either a picture of Grant's back yard when he's BBQ'ing or a picture of Detroit on a bad night. Of course, it could be a picture of Grant BBQ'ing in Detroit. πŸ˜€

    More likely it is Grant barbecuing from his home in Mass. and the picture was taken in Detroit.

    Ah... that would explain why it looks like the sun sets in the East from here. πŸ˜‰

    ...whilst DBCC TIME'Warping your just finished drink back:-)

    😎

  • Eirikur Eiriksson (1/6/2016)


    SQLRNNR (1/6/2016)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (12/22/2015)


    Michael L John (12/22/2015)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (12/22/2015)


    GilaMonster (12/22/2015)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (12/22/2015)


    One recent poster kept asking over and over again why he was getting an error whilst trying to do something he'd already been told was impossible, had to bite my tongue and decided just to mark that user as "capa tosta"

    I must have missed that one.

    Enjoy

    😎

    I saw this one. The question that keeps coming to mind is "What did you Google to come up with this?" Maybe instead of giving SQL advice, we should provide search engine advice.

    IIRC Jason is ahead of us here with his LMGTFY reference;-)

    😎

    Snigger

    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=what+is+lmgtfy

    bow to the master

    😎

    Yeah, I have to agree there. That's about the ultimate.

  • Jeff Moden (1/6/2016)


    Alan.B (1/5/2016)


    SQLBill (1/5/2016)


    Lynn Pettis (1/4/2016)


    SQLBill (1/4/2016)


    Lynn Pettis (1/4/2016)


    SQLBill (1/4/2016)


    I stayed up way longer than normal during the holiday break, but I forced myself to get in the bed (and sleep) on my 'normal' time so I'd be back on my schedule.

    My wife and I did a big move just before Christmas - went from hot Arizona (Chandler - SE of Phoenix) to cold Arizona (Dewey - outside Prescott). A 2-hour drive difference and 20 degree temperature change. So we've spent the holiday break unpacking boxes and trying to get things set up and arranged how we want them. Thank goodness for being able to work from home.

    -SQLBill

    My daughter is in Prescott, AZ. She attends ERAU.

    Very nice. How is she enjoying Prescott? We love the area. Five lakes to kayak on and hike around. Lots of beautiful views and hiking areas. I'm not enjoying the cold weather....but at least snow is very rare and when it does appear it doesn't stay long.

    -SQLBill

    She's enjoyed it. The climate is similar to Colorado Springs, CO. I should have another daughter coming to the area in the fall, and then one there now will be moving to the East Coast.

    If I could find a position working from home I'd consider moving there.

    Glad to hear she's enjoying the climate and scenery. That's why we moved up here. Luckily the company I work for allows part time work from home...so my wife and I have a condo near Phoenix so I can stay there a couple days each week when I need to go into the office.

    If I hear of any openings anywhere that allow full work from home, I'll pass them your way.

    -SQLBill

    I'll be in AZ for a week starting next week with the family. We're looking to move to the Phoenix area (Scottsdale, Gilbert, Chandler). I love Chicago but have had enough winter and Midwest scenery to last a lifetime.

    Rumor has it that it's so dry in Phoenix that you have to water the artificial flowers. πŸ˜›

    "I cant stress enough the importance of switching from a sequential files mindset to set-based thinking. After you make the switch, you can spend your time tuning and optimizing your queries instead of maintaining lengthy, poor-performing code."

    -- Itzik Ben-Gan 2001

  • Just thinking ... would be interesting if one could create an infinite LMGTFY loop. πŸ˜€



    Alvin Ramard
    Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

    All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

    For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

  • Alan.B (1/6/2016)


    Jeff Moden (1/6/2016)


    Alan.B (1/5/2016)


    SQLBill (1/5/2016)


    Lynn Pettis (1/4/2016)


    SQLBill (1/4/2016)


    Lynn Pettis (1/4/2016)


    SQLBill (1/4/2016)


    I stayed up way longer than normal during the holiday break, but I forced myself to get in the bed (and sleep) on my 'normal' time so I'd be back on my schedule.

    My wife and I did a big move just before Christmas - went from hot Arizona (Chandler - SE of Phoenix) to cold Arizona (Dewey - outside Prescott). A 2-hour drive difference and 20 degree temperature change. So we've spent the holiday break unpacking boxes and trying to get things set up and arranged how we want them. Thank goodness for being able to work from home.

    -SQLBill

    My daughter is in Prescott, AZ. She attends ERAU.

    Very nice. How is she enjoying Prescott? We love the area. Five lakes to kayak on and hike around. Lots of beautiful views and hiking areas. I'm not enjoying the cold weather....but at least snow is very rare and when it does appear it doesn't stay long.

    -SQLBill

    She's enjoyed it. The climate is similar to Colorado Springs, CO. I should have another daughter coming to the area in the fall, and then one there now will be moving to the East Coast.

    If I could find a position working from home I'd consider moving there.

    Glad to hear she's enjoying the climate and scenery. That's why we moved up here. Luckily the company I work for allows part time work from home...so my wife and I have a condo near Phoenix so I can stay there a couple days each week when I need to go into the office.

    If I hear of any openings anywhere that allow full work from home, I'll pass them your way.

    -SQLBill

    I'll be in AZ for a week starting next week with the family. We're looking to move to the Phoenix area (Scottsdale, Gilbert, Chandler). I love Chicago but have had enough winter and Midwest scenery to last a lifetime.

    Rumor has it that it's so dry in Phoenix that you have to water the artificial flowers. πŸ˜›

    Don't worry Alan, it doesn't go higher than 128/53, not enough to cook a chicken

    😎

  • Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Wow. I rarely have to deal with user issues but I was just on a phone call with one of our own people having an issue with our website. I was very tempted to ask him to power off his computer and return it to the IT department because he isn't qualified to use one. Took nearly 10 minutes to get him to share his desktop through Lync so I could see his screen. Then another two minutes to type the name of our company correctly in the address bar. He misspelled it differently at least 4 ro 5 times. Then he closed the IM window and couldn't understand why I couldn't see his screen anymore. I don't know people deal with users on a regular basis. It makes me want to take my eyeballs and pop them. :w00t:

    Screens can be shared via Lync?

    That was my first reaction. We're supposed to be getting it soon. I've heard good things about it, but have never used it.

    I guess it is actually Skype for business now. The only real difference is the UI is now slightly worse than before. It is actually a pretty cool app. In an IM conversation you can decide to share your screen (you can choose which screen or all). This cannot be started remotely, you can send a remote request but the user can reject it. Then you can even allow remote control through it which is incredibly handy for dealing with many IT issues when the eye dee ten tee on the other end doesn't know what a mouse is and you need to change some settings on their machine for them. From a business perspective it is hard to imagine functioning as efficiently without it. The great thing is I can attend meetings and see the presenters screen from my desk or even my house.

    _______________________________________________________________

    Need help? Help us help you.

    Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

    Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

    Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
    Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
    Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
    Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

  • Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (1/6/2016)


    SQLRNNR (1/6/2016)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (12/22/2015)


    Michael L John (12/22/2015)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (12/22/2015)


    GilaMonster (12/22/2015)


    Eirikur Eiriksson (12/22/2015)


    One recent poster kept asking over and over again why he was getting an error whilst trying to do something he'd already been told was impossible, had to bite my tongue and decided just to mark that user as "capa tosta"

    I must have missed that one.

    Enjoy

    😎

    I saw this one. The question that keeps coming to mind is "What did you Google to come up with this?" Maybe instead of giving SQL advice, we should provide search engine advice.

    IIRC Jason is ahead of us here with his LMGTFY reference;-)

    😎

    Snigger

    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=what+is+lmgtfy

    bow to the master

    😎

    Yeah, I have to agree there. That's about the ultimate.

    Could have rick-rolled that one too for more fun - buaahaha

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Wow. I rarely have to deal with user issues but I was just on a phone call with one of our own people having an issue with our website. I was very tempted to ask him to power off his computer and return it to the IT department because he isn't qualified to use one. Took nearly 10 minutes to get him to share his desktop through Lync so I could see his screen. Then another two minutes to type the name of our company correctly in the address bar. He misspelled it differently at least 4 ro 5 times. Then he closed the IM window and couldn't understand why I couldn't see his screen anymore. I don't know people deal with users on a regular basis. It makes me want to take my eyeballs and pop them. :w00t:

    Screens can be shared via Lync?

    That was my first reaction. We're supposed to be getting it soon. I've heard good things about it, but have never used it.

    I guess it is actually Skype for business now. The only real difference is the UI is now slightly worse than before. It is actually a pretty cool app. In an IM conversation you can decide to share your screen (you can choose which screen or all). This cannot be started remotely, you can send a remote request but the user can reject it. Then you can even allow remote control through it which is incredibly handy for dealing with many IT issues when the eye dee ten tee on the other end doesn't know what a mouse is and you need to change some settings on their machine for them. From a business perspective it is hard to imagine functioning as efficiently without it. The great thing is I can attend meetings and see the presenters screen from my desk or even my house.

    Well, it definitely sounds cool. It must really be cutting into WebEx's market share. We used them for online meetings for years, but this is going to replace it. We're also supposed to be getting Office 365 and an IM. I haven't heard too much yet.

  • Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Wow. I rarely have to deal with user issues but I was just on a phone call with one of our own people having an issue with our website. I was very tempted to ask him to power off his computer and return it to the IT department because he isn't qualified to use one. Took nearly 10 minutes to get him to share his desktop through Lync so I could see his screen. Then another two minutes to type the name of our company correctly in the address bar. He misspelled it differently at least 4 ro 5 times. Then he closed the IM window and couldn't understand why I couldn't see his screen anymore. I don't know people deal with users on a regular basis. It makes me want to take my eyeballs and pop them. :w00t:

    Screens can be shared via Lync?

    That was my first reaction. We're supposed to be getting it soon. I've heard good things about it, but have never used it.

    I guess it is actually Skype for business now. The only real difference is the UI is now slightly worse than before. It is actually a pretty cool app. In an IM conversation you can decide to share your screen (you can choose which screen or all). This cannot be started remotely, you can send a remote request but the user can reject it. Then you can even allow remote control through it which is incredibly handy for dealing with many IT issues when the eye dee ten tee on the other end doesn't know what a mouse is and you need to change some settings on their machine for them. From a business perspective it is hard to imagine functioning as efficiently without it. The great thing is I can attend meetings and see the presenters screen from my desk or even my house.

    Well, it definitely sounds cool. It must really be cutting into WebEx's market share. We used them for online meetings for years, but this is going to replace it. We're also supposed to be getting Office 365 and an IM. I haven't heard too much yet.

    About half of the company, mainly every technical person, has been on Office 365 for about 8 months. Skype for business is very nice. To me, it's simpler to use than WebEx. The rest of the company is being phased in as we speak. We quadrupled the number of help desk people!!!

    Michael L John
    If you assassinate a DBA, would you pull a trigger?
    To properly post on a forum:
    http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/61537/

  • Michael L John (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Wow. I rarely have to deal with user issues but I was just on a phone call with one of our own people having an issue with our website. I was very tempted to ask him to power off his computer and return it to the IT department because he isn't qualified to use one. Took nearly 10 minutes to get him to share his desktop through Lync so I could see his screen. Then another two minutes to type the name of our company correctly in the address bar. He misspelled it differently at least 4 ro 5 times. Then he closed the IM window and couldn't understand why I couldn't see his screen anymore. I don't know people deal with users on a regular basis. It makes me want to take my eyeballs and pop them. :w00t:

    Screens can be shared via Lync?

    That was my first reaction. We're supposed to be getting it soon. I've heard good things about it, but have never used it.

    I guess it is actually Skype for business now. The only real difference is the UI is now slightly worse than before. It is actually a pretty cool app. In an IM conversation you can decide to share your screen (you can choose which screen or all). This cannot be started remotely, you can send a remote request but the user can reject it. Then you can even allow remote control through it which is incredibly handy for dealing with many IT issues when the eye dee ten tee on the other end doesn't know what a mouse is and you need to change some settings on their machine for them. From a business perspective it is hard to imagine functioning as efficiently without it. The great thing is I can attend meetings and see the presenters screen from my desk or even my house.

    Well, it definitely sounds cool. It must really be cutting into WebEx's market share. We used them for online meetings for years, but this is going to replace it. We're also supposed to be getting Office 365 and an IM. I haven't heard too much yet.

    About half of the company, mainly every technical person, has been on Office 365 for about 8 months. Skype for business is very nice. To me, it's simpler to use than WebEx. The rest of the company is being phased in as we speak. We quadrupled the number of help desk people!!!

    Not sure about this. Haven't used it much, but I can't work out how to use it to IM contacts outside of my local network.

    --Edit: got hit by the Quote bug.

    If you haven't even tried to resolve your issue, please don't expect the hard-working volunteers here to waste their time providing links to answers which you could easily have found yourself.

  • Phil Parkin (1/6/2016)


    Michael L John (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Wow. I rarely have to deal with user issues but I was just on a phone call with one of our own people having an issue with our website. I was very tempted to ask him to power off his computer and return it to the IT department because he isn't qualified to use one. Took nearly 10 minutes to get him to share his desktop through Lync so I could see his screen. Then another two minutes to type the name of our company correctly in the address bar. He misspelled it differently at least 4 ro 5 times. Then he closed the IM window and couldn't understand why I couldn't see his screen anymore. I don't know people deal with users on a regular basis. It makes me want to take my eyeballs and pop them. :w00t:

    Screens can be shared via Lync?

    That was my first reaction. We're supposed to be getting it soon. I've heard good things about it, but have never used it.

    I guess it is actually Skype for business now. The only real difference is the UI is now slightly worse than before. It is actually a pretty cool app. In an IM conversation you can decide to share your screen (you can choose which screen or all). This cannot be started remotely, you can send a remote request but the user can reject it. Then you can even allow remote control through it which is incredibly handy for dealing with many IT issues when the eye dee ten tee on the other end doesn't know what a mouse is and you need to change some settings on their machine for them. From a business perspective it is hard to imagine functioning as efficiently without it. The great thing is I can attend meetings and see the presenters screen from my desk or even my house.

    Well, it definitely sounds cool. It must really be cutting into WebEx's market share. We used them for online meetings for years, but this is going to replace it. We're also supposed to be getting Office 365 and an IM. I haven't heard too much yet.

    About half of the company, mainly every technical person, has been on Office 365 for about 8 months. Skype for business is very nice. To me, it's simpler to use than WebEx. The rest of the company is being phased in as we speak. We quadrupled the number of help desk people!!!

    Not sure about this. Haven't used it much, but I can't work out how to use it to IM contacts outside of my local network.

    --Edit: got hit by the Quote bug.

    There is a setting on the server to allow connections outside your domain. It must be turned on at both locations (assuming the external person is also using skype) for this to work. It is nice to be able to limit discussions internally from an IT perspective but from a business perspective it pretty much sucks. For example my wife's company uses Skype but they have that setting turned off. In the old MS instant messenger days we could IM at work. I get the security part of it but instead my wife and I end up texting which is far more distracting than just a quick IM.

    _______________________________________________________________

    Need help? Help us help you.

    Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

    Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

    Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
    Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
    Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
    Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

  • Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Phil Parkin (1/6/2016)


    Michael L John (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Ed Wagner (1/6/2016)


    Brandie Tarvin (1/6/2016)


    Sean Lange (1/6/2016)


    Wow. I rarely have to deal with user issues but I was just on a phone call with one of our own people having an issue with our website. I was very tempted to ask him to power off his computer and return it to the IT department because he isn't qualified to use one. Took nearly 10 minutes to get him to share his desktop through Lync so I could see his screen. Then another two minutes to type the name of our company correctly in the address bar. He misspelled it differently at least 4 ro 5 times. Then he closed the IM window and couldn't understand why I couldn't see his screen anymore. I don't know people deal with users on a regular basis. It makes me want to take my eyeballs and pop them. :w00t:

    Screens can be shared via Lync?

    That was my first reaction. We're supposed to be getting it soon. I've heard good things about it, but have never used it.

    I guess it is actually Skype for business now. The only real difference is the UI is now slightly worse than before. It is actually a pretty cool app. In an IM conversation you can decide to share your screen (you can choose which screen or all). This cannot be started remotely, you can send a remote request but the user can reject it. Then you can even allow remote control through it which is incredibly handy for dealing with many IT issues when the eye dee ten tee on the other end doesn't know what a mouse is and you need to change some settings on their machine for them. From a business perspective it is hard to imagine functioning as efficiently without it. The great thing is I can attend meetings and see the presenters screen from my desk or even my house.

    Well, it definitely sounds cool. It must really be cutting into WebEx's market share. We used them for online meetings for years, but this is going to replace it. We're also supposed to be getting Office 365 and an IM. I haven't heard too much yet.

    About half of the company, mainly every technical person, has been on Office 365 for about 8 months. Skype for business is very nice. To me, it's simpler to use than WebEx. The rest of the company is being phased in as we speak. We quadrupled the number of help desk people!!!

    Not sure about this. Haven't used it much, but I can't work out how to use it to IM contacts outside of my local network.

    --Edit: got hit by the Quote bug.

    There is a setting on the server to allow connections outside your domain. It must be turned on at both locations (assuming the external person is also using skype) for this to work. It is nice to be able to limit discussions internally from an IT perspective but from a business perspective it pretty much sucks. For example my wife's company uses Skype but they have that setting turned off. In the old MS instant messenger days we could IM at work. I get the security part of it but instead my wife and I end up texting which is far more distracting than just a quick IM.

    Thanks for the tip, Sean. I've not yet worked at a company that has an IM - I guess I've been sheltered. I'm hoping that using an actual IM isn't as distracting as email can be when it's used as an IM. πŸ˜›

  • Phantom forum post!

    Go to this thread

    Click on the Quote button

    Scroll down to view earlier posts (click on the [+] icon if necessary)

    β€œWrite the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • ChrisM@Work (1/7/2016)


    Phantom forum post!

    Go to this thread

    Click on the Quote button

    Scroll down to view earlier posts (click on the [+] icon if necessary)

    I've seen that several times. It happens with new users that post links or lots of code. It doesn't seems to completely prevent spam, though. I've seen that some newbies get desperate and post the same thing 3 or more times without seeing results.

    Luis C.
    General Disclaimer:
    Are you seriously taking the advice and code from someone from the internet without testing it? Do you at least understand it? Or can it easily kill your server?

    How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help: Option 1 / Option 2
  • I see that SQL Saturday Manchester has been announced - same venue as last year, 22/23 July.

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