Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Roy Ernest SSC-Dedicated Points: 38780 More actions · Answer 1

bitbucket-25253 (10/28/2010)
Roy Ernest (10/28/2010)
Grant Fritchey (10/28/2010)
Brandie Tarvin (10/28/2010)
Waving to Grant across the interwebs while listening to him present on execution plans!
Oh, that was you? Sorry I didn't wave back. Man, I need to work on my examples a bit.
I hate talking to a wall for presentations.
Grant, you should have done it like Jeff and our user group did it. You would have been talking to us instead of the wall. 🙂 Ask Jeff, we rocked on out first Net meeting. 🙂
Roy have you given any more thought to writing up the how to's and how not's so other user groups leaders can benefit.?

Oh Darn..I forgot all about that. Now I have something to do while I am at the airport waiting for connecting planes.. 🙂

-Roy

GSquared SSC Guru Points: 260824 More actions · Answer 2

GilaMonster (10/28/2010)
Craig Farrell (10/28/2010)
Hm, with all the Star Wars avatars around here I'm going to have to dig up a few Star Trek ones.
I believe the Picard Facepalm will be the first I should start with. :rolleyes:
Nice. Now we have Star Trek, Star Wars and Babylon 5 represented
Know which episode that was from?

And now we have Galaxy Quest! 🙂

- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread

"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

GSquared SSC Guru Points: 260824 More actions · Answer 3

Craig Farrell (10/28/2010)
WayneS (10/28/2010)
Craig - I see you came through on your threat of a ST avatar! Seems appropriate, especially in the thread with Joes latest rant.
Sadly appropriate. Why is it everytime Celko posts I want to create a new topic for the express purpose of flogging him, traipsing through every one of his recent posts for quotes and ripping into him? It's the internet, for crying out loud. I shouldn't get that worked up.
Meh.

He's a troll. Responding to his rants is just feeding the troll. It will have the usual results.

Joe knows a lot of useful info. But that doesn't change he's a troll.

- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread

"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

GSquared SSC Guru Points: 260824 More actions · Answer 4

Jack Corbett (10/28/2010)
Stefan Krzywicki (10/28/2010)
Craig Farrell (10/28/2010)
Think this would be a bit much as my signature?
CREATE TRIGGER trg_Celko ON vw_SSC_PostList FOR AFTER INSERT
AS
-- Go read the documents, inline comments are for sissies.
IF EXISTS (SELECT * FROM inserted WHERE [Name] = 'CELKO')
BEGIN
UPDATE table_SSC_attributes
SET intHappiness = intHappiness + 1
Where RowNumber = ISNULL( NULL, 1)
END
GO
Did I break enough ISO standards? I'm sure I missed a few.
I think you need a bit column in there to really set him off. I have no idea why he hates bit columns so much and since he never explains himself, I'll likely never know.
You need something that uses IDENTITY as well.

Needs GetDate, and a few nullable columns somehow.

- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread

"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

GSquared SSC Guru Points: 260824 More actions · Answer 5

Lynn Pettis (10/28/2010)
jcrawf02 (10/28/2010)
Two comments, which are completely separate, and I should probably post separately, but I'm lazy 😀
1 - we're all talking too much about Celko, and frankly, you're better than that. You guys are very helpful to a lot of people, try not to waste your energy on telling him off, which while entertaining, makes things too heated. I liked the replies about 'ignore him, sorry about that, don't be scared off', and the help you provided was great, somebody is really going to learn something. Just think positive, and try to ignore or advise to ignore rather than refute, because I have a sneaking suspicion it isn't going to change his behavior one bit.
2 - Curious if anybody is active in their local ACM chapters? Seems like the ones around here are struggling, (note the desparate cry for help here) but the org as a whole seems valuable and active. Trying to get a feel for if it's an organization worth investing some time in or not.
Sincerely,
The OTHER j.c.
(No, the OTHER OTHER j.c.)
(fine, whatever, it's jcrawf02)
Although I agree with you on ignoring Celko and simply telling the OP to ignore him, that doesn't really send him a mesasage. Hopefully, and I'm sure it is just wishful thinking, he will start to realize that the SQL Server community at large is tired of his online persona and that he really needs to change if he wants to be a relevent part of this community and to be taken seriously.

"Sending a message" doesn't work with trolls.

- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread

"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 399278 More actions · Answer 6

Back to the original purpose of this thread, my only response to this, once the clarification was in, is WTF?!?

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

WayneS SSC Guru Points: 95461 More actions · Answer 7

Craig Farrell (10/28/2010)
Think this would be a bit much as my signature?
CREATE TRIGGER trg_Celko ON vw_SSC_PostList FOR AFTER INSERT
AS
-- Go read the documents, inline comments are for sissies.
IF EXISTS (SELECT * FROM inserted WHERE [Name] = 'CELKO')
BEGIN
DECLARE @tbl_ISO TABLE (RowID INT IDENTITY,
b_HasClass bit NULL,
dt_LastHarshResponse DateTime NULL DEFAULT GetDate(),
b_UsesProprietarySyntax bit NULL);
UPDATE table_SSC_attributes
SET intHappiness = intHappiness + 1
Where RowNumber = ISNULL( NULL, 1)
INSERT INTO @tbl_ISO (b_HasClass) VALUES ('False');
END
GO
Did I break enough ISO standards? I'm sure I missed a few.

I've added a few...

Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes

If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!

Links:
For better assistance in answering your questions
Performance Problems
Common date/time routines
Understanding and Using APPLY Part 1 & Part 2

spaghettidba SSC Guru Points: 105732 More actions · Answer 8

CREATE TRIGGER trg_Celko ON vw_SSC_PostList FOR AFTER INSERT

AS

-- Go read the documents, inline comments are for sissies.

IF EXISTS (SELECT * FROM inserted WHERE [Name] = 'CELKO')

BEGIN

DECLARE @tbl_ISO TABLE (RowID INT IDENTITY,

b_HasClass bit NULL,

dt_LastHarshResponse DateTime NULL DEFAULT GetDate(),

b_UsesProprietarySyntax bit NULL);

UPDATE attr

SET intHappiness = intHappiness + 1

FROM table_SSC_attributes AS attr

INNER JOIN INSERTED AS ins

ON attr.id = CAST(ins.id AS int)

WHERE RowNumber = ISNULL( NULL, 1)

INSERT INTO @tbl_ISO (b_HasClass) VALUES ('False');

END

GO

WayneS (10/29/2010)

I've added a few...

Me too.

We can end up with a monster this way. :w00t:

-- Gianluca Sartori

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281344 More actions · Answer 9

WayneS (10/28/2010)
Jeff Moden (10/28/2010)
Brandie Tarvin (10/28/2010)
FYI: Aside from Demo-titis, Grant had a pretty good presentation. Wish I could go to PASS and see the full 90 minute one.
Now I'm obsessing about my latest project, trying to tweak it. Odd thing is, I removed an ORDER BY clause, thinking it'd make a SORT go away (which it did) but it increased the query time by 1 second. ???
Anyway, having fun with the new stuff I learned listening to Grant. Really really really recommend his session for PASS-going folks.
Ok... how'd I miss that? Where did you get the notification that such a thing was going to happen?
here[/url]

Thanks Wayne, I had missed it too.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Mark Cowne One Orange Chip Points: 26983 More actions · Answer 10

WayneS (10/29/2010)
Craig Farrell (10/28/2010)
Think this would be a bit much as my signature?
CREATE TRIGGER trg_Celko ON vw_SSC_PostList FOR AFTER INSERT
AS
-- Go read the documents, inline comments are for sissies.
IF EXISTS (SELECT * FROM inserted WHERE [Name] = 'CELKO')
BEGIN
DECLARE @tbl_ISO TABLE (RowID INT IDENTITY,
b_HasClass bit NULL,
dt_LastHarshResponse DateTime NULL DEFAULT GetDate(),
b_UsesProprietarySyntax bit NULL);
UPDATE table_SSC_attributes
SET intHappiness = intHappiness + 1
Where RowNumber = ISNULL( NULL, 1)
INSERT INTO @tbl_ISO (b_HasClass) VALUES ('False');
END
GO
Did I break enough ISO standards? I'm sure I missed a few.
I've added a few...

Wot ... no XML???

____________________________________________________

Deja View - The strange feeling that somewhere, sometime you've optimised this query before

How to get the best help on a forum

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004641 More actions · Answer 11

Grant Fritchey (10/29/2010)

Jeff Moden (10/28/2010)
Brandie Tarvin (10/28/2010)
FYI: Aside from Demo-titis, Grant had a pretty good presentation. Wish I could go to PASS and see the full 90 minute one.
Now I'm obsessing about my latest project, trying to tweak it. Odd thing is, I removed an ORDER BY clause, thinking it'd make a SORT go away (which it did) but it increased the query time by 1 second. ???
Anyway, having fun with the new stuff I learned listening to Grant. Really really really recommend his session for PASS-going folks.
Ok... how'd I miss that? Where did you get the notification that such a thing was going to happen?

Wha....? You don't read my blog? Daily? I'm crushed.

quote]

Heh... obviously I'm going to have to start doing that. Sounds like I missed a good one.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Dave Ballantyne SSC-Dedicated Points: 33667 More actions · Answer 12

Anyone kind enough to do a spot of proof reading / editing for my article for

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1012017-2824-1.aspx

TIA

Clear Sky SQL
My Blog[/url]

Ron McCullough SSC Guru Points: 63877 More actions · Answer 13

NOTE - first I do not have anywhere near the experience and or skill set of most denizens of the thread. In fact I consider myself a "newbie", that said if your article is directed to someone at my level. Would be glad to read it and comment and hopefully be some what useful to you and your eventual readers, as well as learn something myself.

Have available for testing Developer versions of 2005 and 2008 NO 2008 R2 ... (And still an operational instance of 2000).

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Ron

Please help us, help you -before posting a question please read[/url]
Before posting a performance problem please read[/url]

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 14

Dave Ballantyne (10/30/2010)
Anyone kind enough to do a spot of proof reading / editing for my article for
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1012017-2824-1.aspx
TIA

I can give it a try, hopefully this weekend. You can PM me.

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

WayneS SSC Guru Points: 95461 More actions · Answer 15

WayneS (10/28/2010)
Jeff Moden (10/28/2010)
Ok... first one is done. I liked Paul's idea of "Phil McCracken" as the author. Please see attached just for a preview. Steve, I'll post it in the "Write for us" link so you don't have much to do to put it out there.
@steve-2, if you want to go with "SQL Spackle" and/or "Phil McCracken", I'll modify the article I've sent to you.

Steve - did you ever decide if you want to go with "SQL Spackle" / "Phil McCracken", or anything else? If so, are you going to modify the articles in the pipeline?

Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes

If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!

Links:
For better assistance in answering your questions
Performance Problems
Common date/time routines
Understanding and Using APPLY Part 1 & Part 2