Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281344 More actions · Answer 1

Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)
Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)
GilaMonster (9/21/2010)
CirquedeSQLeil (9/21/2010)
We now need 15.72 posts/day for 20k
Gail needs 14.52 posts/day for 20k
Currently I seem to be doing something like 20-25/day.
There's been around 50 added to the Thread since I got to work this morning.
A query walks into a bar, sees two tables and says: "May I join you?" 😀

Uh Oh

Just don't create a Cartesian product.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004514 More actions · Answer 2

Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)

A query walks into a bar, sees two tables and says: "May I join you?" 😀

That's so old the archaeologists are tired of it.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Shawn Melton SSC-Insane Points: 24685 More actions · Answer 3

GilaMonster (9/21/2010)

Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)
A query walks into a bar, sees two tables and says: "May I join you?" 😀
That's so old the archaeologists are tired of it.

I like this one:

Knock Knock

Who's There?

sp underscore

sp underscore who?

spid1, spid2, spid3....

Shawn Melton
Twitter: @wsmelton
Blog: wsmelton.github.com
Github: wsmelton

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004514 More actions · Answer 4

Shawn Melton (9/21/2010)
I like this one:
Knock Knock
Who's There?
sp underscore
sp underscore who?
spid1, spid2, spid3....

I told that one at a dinner at the PASS Summit a few years ago (my second summit and I somehow ended up at a dinner with Itzik, Geoff, Allen White and several other 'important' people)

I got cornbread thrown at me.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Alvin Ramard SSC-Forever Points: 41190 More actions · Answer 5

GilaMonster (9/21/2010)
Shawn Melton (9/21/2010)
I like this one:
Knock Knock
Who's There?
sp underscore
sp underscore who?
spid1, spid2, spid3....
I told that one at a dinner at the PASS Summit a few years ago (my second summit and I somehow ended up at a dinner with Itzik, Geoff, Allen White and several other 'important' people)
I got cornbread thrown at me.

Don't you hate it when people do not appreciate good humour? 🙂

Alvin Ramard
Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

The Dixie Flatline SSC Guru Points: 53354 More actions · Answer 6

Solo Cerveza, por favor.

They come in ONES?? :w00t:

__________________________________________________

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills

Evil Kraig F SSC Guru Points: 100851 More actions · Answer 7

The Dixie Flatline (9/21/2010)
Solo Cerveza, por favor.
They come in ONES?? :w00t:

Yep, and alone, too. 🙂

- Craig Farrell

Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.

For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281344 More actions · Answer 8

K - this has to be posted here.

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic990456-61-1.aspx

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004641 More actions · Answer 9

Stefan Krzywicki (9/21/2010)
CirquedeSQLeil (9/21/2010)
Stefan Krzywicki (9/21/2010)
CirquedeSQLeil (9/21/2010)
Chris Morris-439714 (9/21/2010)
khanameerkhan (9/20/2010)
Is there any way to determine who deleted the database in sql server 2008.
Look under tables and in cupboards for one of these :blush:
If SQL Server were designed around things found in the kitchen, what are the cups, forks, spoons, firehose, cupboard (which makes one ponder why a cabinet is also a cup-board), stove, sink and refrigerator?
If you really want a headscratcher, why is a cabinet also a milkshake in Rhose Island?
That is odd - where is Rhose Island? I don't want to happen across that place in case I want a milkshake.
That would be Rhode Island with a typo : -)
The most annoying part is that if you order a milkshake anywhere in New England you get shaken milk. In Rhode Island an actual milkshake is a cabinet, in the rest of New England, an actual milkshake is a Frappe.

Yeah but then there's the king of ice cream drinks.... Newport Creamery's "Awful Awful". Drink 3, get the 4th for free. Can you say "head freeze"? 😉

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004641 More actions · Answer 10

GilaMonster (9/21/2010)

Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)
A query walks into a bar, sees two tables and says: "May I join you?" 😀
That's so old the archaeologists are tired of it.

Reminds me of the question I was once asked at an interview... "What's the fastest way to clear a table?" No. You just don't wanna know... 😛

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Paul White SSC Guru Points: 150468 More actions · Answer 11

How do you surprise an index?

Unique up on it.

(Rob Farley)

Paul White
All articles available on SQL.kiwi
@SQL_Kiwi

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004641 More actions · Answer 12

Steve Jones - Editor (9/21/2010)
Paul White NZ (9/21/2010)
jcrawf02 (9/21/2010)
I'm with Bob on this one, not sure I fully understand all the requests, but the ones I got look useful to me.
Look useful and interesting, for sure, but there are no shortage of ideas for features and enhancements to SQL Server. It's a question of prioritization. If the question was "should the SQL Server dev team add these ranking function enhancements, or go play golf instead?" it would be a no-brainer 🙂
When it comes to prioritizing requests, it definitely makes sense to say to people "yes, that's fine, but exactly how would you use it, and what specific benefits would it bring?"
This is my ask. It's easy to look at these in a vacuum, especially when someone like Itzik has recommended them. But I don't see enough of a set of cases in there, based on my experiences. I just haven't had to do running totals often enough for me to worry about this being a priority.
I'd love it if MS would put out a list of the top 20 and let the community express some interest relative to other features instead of putting these separate in Connect. Easy for me to get some votes, but I'm not sure it's worth it.

I haven't looked but I'd really like it if they made some decent file handling functions that worked from T-SQL.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004641 More actions · Answer 13

Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)
GilaMonster (9/21/2010)
Shawn Melton (9/21/2010)
I like this one:
Knock Knock
Who's There?
sp underscore
sp underscore who?
spid1, spid2, spid3....
I told that one at a dinner at the PASS Summit a few years ago (my second summit and I somehow ended up at a dinner with Itzik, Geoff, Allen White and several other 'important' people)
I got cornbread thrown at me.
Don't you hate it when people do not appreciate good humour? 🙂

Heh... is that what it is? I thought it was a pretty cool way to get hungry people to pass the cornbread down to you without having to fight for it. 😛

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Evil Kraig F SSC Guru Points: 100851 More actions · Answer 14

Jeff Moden (9/21/2010)
Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)
GilaMonster (9/21/2010)
Shawn Melton (9/21/2010)
I like this one:
Knock Knock
Who's There?
sp underscore
sp underscore who?
spid1, spid2, spid3....
I told that one at a dinner at the PASS Summit a few years ago (my second summit and I somehow ended up at a dinner with Itzik, Geoff, Allen White and several other 'important' people)
I got cornbread thrown at me.
Don't you hate it when people do not appreciate good humour? 🙂
Heh... is that what it is? I thought it was a pretty cool way to get hungry people to pass the cornbread down to you without having to fight for it. 😛

Mmmmm.... Cornbread.... Sadly the people I usually have dinner with wouldn't get the joke, so they might throw spoons if I tried to explain it. 🙂

- Craig Farrell

Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.

For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 15

Alvin Ramard (9/21/2010)
Steve Jones - Editor (9/21/2010)
Keep up the bad jokes and we'll likely get 30 a day 🙂
A query walks into a bar, sees two tables and says: "May I join you?" 😀
Edit: Just realized I had quoted wrong post.

One of the tables replies "On one condition..."

^{“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw}

For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden