Is This Your Job Application

,

Is this your job application?


This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy

submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in

Florida........and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

=================================

NAME:

Greg Bulmash

SEX:

Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION:

Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,

whatever's available. If I was in a position to be

picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:

$185,000 a year plus stock options

and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible,

make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:

Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:

Target for middle management

hostility.

LAST SALARY:

Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:

My incredible collection

of stolen pens and

post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:

It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:

Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:

1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:

Yes, but they're

better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:

If I had one,

would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD

PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:

Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:

I think the more appropriate question here would be

"Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR

RECOGNITION?:

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?:

On the job, no. On my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model

who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd

like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR

KNOWLEDGE?:

Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

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