The following is an excerpt from the Wall Street Journal by Jim Carlton.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key," "Press Return
Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call
from a man complaining
that the system wouldn't read word processing files
from his old diskettes.
After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed
to diagnose the problem,
it was found that the customer labeled the
diskettes then rolled them into
the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with
copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his
customer to put his troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door.
The customer asked the tech to hold
on, and was heard putting the phone
down, getting up and crossing the room
to close the door to his room.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front
monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
7. Another Dell
customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
Dell tech suggested he
go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me
a couple of friends," the customer
replied. When told Egghead
was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I
thought you meant for
me to find a couple of geeks."
8. Yet another
Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had
cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water
and soaking the
keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing
9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who
because his computer had told him he was "bad" and "invalid."
The tech explained that the computer's bad and invalid
shouldn't be taken personally.
10. An exasperated caller to Dell
Computer Tech Support couldn't get
her new Dell Computer to turn on. After
ensuring the computer was plugged
in, the technician asked her what happened
when she pushed the power button.
Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this
foot pedal and nothing
Happens." The "pedal" turned out to be the computer's
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it
and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power
12. True story from a Novell NetWire Sys Op:
support: Hello, this is Tech Support.
Caller: Is this tech support?
Tech support: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup
holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about
Tech Support: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup
Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.
Tech Support: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped. It's because I
am. Did you receive this as part of
a promotional, at a trade show? How did
you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?
came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has
"4X" on it.
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because
he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!