I am shattered, y'all. Just shattered.

Romance is officially dead.

I'll be in the back of the Tent in the Desert, crying my eyes out for a while.

Here we go. A Dilbert for the week.

Cadavre (7/31/2015)

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Brandie Tarvin (7/30/2015)

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Why oh why oh why do people insist on using WITH (NOLOCK) instead of doing things like setting transaction isolation levels or fixing indexes to resolve performance...

jasona.work (7/31/2015)

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But Brandie, were they *GIANT* Gummy Bears?

http://giantgummybears.com/%5B/url%5D

Ooo, a 26lb Gummy Bear with a bowl shaped tummy so you can...

STOP STEALING...

I am writing code for an automagical solution to all coding problems.

How many people knew about this?

I think it is absolutely AWESOME.

That is officially...

And on another subject...

I HAVE GUMMY BEARS! (fear me)

And now I'm finding out our databases aren't set up to allow snapshot or read committed isolation. So do I take the overhead hit or not?

How do people deal with...

As I dig into this issue (Execution Plans HO!), I come across a thread in which one respondent posts a link to Gail's blog and then Grant shows up to...

GilaMonster (7/30/2015)

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Yup. In fact I told some people recently to put nolock onto a bunch of queries. They...

ALZDBA (7/30/2015)

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To keep the answer brief and firm: No.

The risk...

Why oh why oh why do people insist on using WITH (NOLOCK) instead of doing things like setting transaction isolation levels or fixing indexes to resolve performance issues?

Work thing. I've...

SQLRNNR (7/29/2015)

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WayneS (7/29/2015)

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Table...