A Few Good DBAs

  • ShaunT

    SSC Enthusiast

    Points: 164

    Comments posted to this topic are about the item A Few Good DBAs

  • Larry Aue

    Ten Centuries

    Points: 1027

    Shaun, could you please leave the room while we talk about you behind your back? πŸ˜›

  • Jeff Moden

    SSC Guru

    Points: 997328

    What a great read... and how timely! I just went through something like this with my bosses! Well done!

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.
    "Change is inevitable... change for the better is not".
    "Dear Lord... I'm a DBA so please give me patience because, if you give me strength, I'm going to need bail money too!"

    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • S Hodkinson

    SSCertifiable

    Points: 7529

    And I thought it was only me with those bosses!!

    :rolleyes:

    Madame Artois

  • afurlanet

    Grasshopper

    Points: 18

    Very funny!

    Thank's

  • Manie Verster

    SSCertifiable

    Points: 7022

    America can fall apart but the DBA's will protect the SQL Server. While Godzilla demolished New York and the aliens tried to take over the world the DBA's protected the SQL Server. I think this calls for a new movie. The world gets ruined while the DBA's protect the SQL Server. Atteeeeenhun!! the DBA's entering the office!!!!!

    All jokes aside, we here in South Africa only watched the final of Survivor Fiji last night and I must say that I was so sorry that Yauman was voted out. I hoped he would win it.

    :-PManie Verster
    Developer
    Johannesburg
    South Africa

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Holy Bible
    I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. - Everett Mckinley Dirkson (Well, I am trying. - Manie Verster)

  • Frank Carrelli

    SSC-Addicted

    Points: 440

    I think we all have bosses like that!:)

  • Grant Fritchey

    SSC Guru

    Points: 396761

    Does this mean I get to carry a gun at work now?

    I promise, no more than one developer a week. πŸ˜€

    ----------------------------------------------------
    The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood...
    Theodore Roosevelt

    The Scary DBA
    Author of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd Edition
    Product Evangelist for Red Gate Software

  • Robert L Miller

    SSC Enthusiast

    Points: 143

    Perfect; just perfect!

    Thank you very much for this moment of well needed and received levity.

  • SuperDBA-207096

    SSCrazy Eights

    Points: 8176

    THAT was pretty awesome!

  • Jeff Moden

    SSC Guru

    Points: 997328

    Grant Fritchey (10/29/2008)


    Does this mean I get to carry a gun at work now?

    I promise, no more than one developer a week. πŸ˜€

    What... you're not already packin'? Thought is was a requirement. And, heh... I make no such promises! πŸ˜›

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.
    "Change is inevitable... change for the better is not".
    "Dear Lord... I'm a DBA so please give me patience because, if you give me strength, I'm going to need bail money too!"

    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • S Hodkinson

    SSCertifiable

    Points: 7529

    No more than one developer a week? How about Infrastructure?? Comms? Is one developer equal to 2 Infrastructures???

    :Whistling:

    Madame Artois

  • tony-914923

    Grasshopper

    Points: 14

    Is Jack Nicholson a DBA? Cool!

    πŸ˜‰

  • mcorrea

    Valued Member

    Points: 69

    I found this on SQLTeam.com

    A new version of β€˜A Few Good Men’…

    ....

    CIO: "Did you order the code change?"

    DBA: "You want answers?"

    CIO: "I think I'm entitled."

    DBA: "You want answers!!"

    CIO: "I want the truth!"

    DBA: "You can't handle the truth!"

    DBA: "Son, we live in a world that has databases. And those databases have to be administered by men with laptops. Who's gonna do it? You? Developers? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

    You weep for your application and you curse the DBA team. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that your application's crash, while tragic, probably saved the database. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves databases.

    You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me online. You need me on online! We use words like referential integrity, table constraints, and triggers... we use these words as the backbone to a life spent administering databases. You use 'em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very data integrity I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you logon and start coding. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!!"

    CIO: "Did you order the code change???"

    DBA: "I did my job, I'd do it again."

    CIO: "Did you order the code change??!"

    DBA: "You're !%@&*? right I did!"

    ....

  • Timothy Beight

    SSC Rookie

    Points: 35

    After 30 years in engineering and IT, I can feel Shaun's sentiments deep in my gut. After a moment of reflection, early in the morning, after a good night's sleep, and before the crisis of the day arrives, they seem a bit prideful and self-centered. Are there any business managers out there who could write in the same style from the other point of view?

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