Data Masker can help. You have some good thoughts here, so I'll try to write a few pieces that might let you see how our product works.

In terms...

There are some additions to Express and always the Windows scheduler, but good point, Beatrix

Our Data Masker product will replace all data with other data. No algorithmic change that can be broken.

Wasn't trying to push the Redgate tools, but we do have Data Masker for SQL Server that does this. There is randomization, variation of numerics/dates, and more.

You might get the SSN one done, but data masking won't work for a or b.

https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/previous-versions/sql/sql-server-2012/cc645993(v%3dsql.110)

1 socket or 4 cores
1GB ram
10GB db size.

Make sure those limits work for you.

Jeff is correct, and this is one reason I recommended against them. They weren't as thoroughly tested, and there was legal wording added to the documents noting that if you...

I'll leave the discussion with this:

Discussing a pervasive issue, isn't necessarily  carving people up. It's noting behavior towards a group of people. That's an observation, and certainly mine...

You are welcome to your opinion. You implied that this isn't much of a big deal, but saying most forums are egalitarian. Perhaps most, but that doesn't mean this isn't...

I'll agree with Gail. Unless you experience this or see it, you don't think this exists and people treat others fairly.

That doesn't happen all the time. I don't...