Brent, I wouldn't put the "owning a fast car" in the no fun category.  Go looking around there's probably small race tracks where you can take it to do laps...

I just caught possibly one of the worst abominations of a query I've yet to see here...
6(!!!) NOLOCK hints scattered throughout the query (and it's not even that long,)...

Ugh, with how tight things get locked down at work, and how crappy the network can be (even worse when working from home,) is it sad that part of me...

From reading the linked article, it sounds like potentially one of the things that AI / Deep Learning is doing (using the medical examples) is finding patterns in the patient...

You're already most of the way there, you just need to double up the quotes in a few places:
Select 'Update...

So, for one of my servers, I was able to use the Batch Requests / Sec counter to get a good idea when people were going out to watch the...