When you say "mask the data"...

Personally, I'd put powershell to work. Make a list of your servers. Provide that list to Powershell. Run a query against every server to get the list of databases. Done....

Yeah, give the permission of a given role to a given schema and be done. Sounds like you're trying to dig a hole.

There is no single switch you can throw to make DBCC faster. None. It's going to take the time it takes. If you're seeing 95% CPU when you run it...

I have to admit that I foolishly used the MSDB method (i'm no ssis expert, but i'm the best we have at our company) and...

Thanks! Appreciate the kind words.

I think it's a fine thing that you have to justify the move. I suffer from "new shiny" syndrome and would be upgrading constantly if someone...

Why go with triggers? Use Extended Events. I don't have a blog post on tracking creation of logins using Extended Events available. Here's one on auditing database changes. You...

How about positive changes to our Recovery Time Objective? That alone would do it for me when you add in all the other improvements that have occurred since...

Grant/Jeff - won't any find/replace, in source control, via synonym or otherwise, have the same issues if the columns also changed? The only real method to make sure this...

This doesn't sound like an indexing problem, unless we see an execution plan showing scans. Instead, it sounds like an I/O problem caused by the varbinary(MAX). However, I'd want some...

One thing I would add, I was really tempted to drop databases after the restore. but the number of times a developer needed to get some data back because...

1. Everything if you can, but certainly many can't, for valid reasonsY. So, triage. "We can't live without it" databases get regular and constant love through testing. Everything else gets...

First up, yes, a synonym is probably the easiest way to fix this.

Second, source control is your bestest buddy on earth. If you get all your code that defines databases...

You can't run a backup command against an Azure SQL Database. That's the core of the problem. You can export one to a DACPAC or other process, but no backups...

You simply can't get all the stuff through a T-SQL query. This is where WMI queries come into play and some kind of external language to pull that data...