You just might be a DBA if.....

Question

You just might be a DBA if.....

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julliff SSChasing Mays Points: 646 More actions · Answer 1

You hesitate to give your husband datawriter permissions on the family planner.

Antares686 SSC Guru Points: 125444 More actions · Answer 2

Or for that fact your spouse direct access to the family budget, they mut go thru you and you only return the stuff you want them to know.

"Don't roll your eyes at me. I will tape them in place." (Teacher on Boston Public)

Jonr SSCrazy Points: 2566 More actions · Answer 3

You stop the Visual Basic programmers from creating stored procs under dbo because it's less grief to manually check every one first than to implicitly trust their idea of well written SQL.

Jon Reade

Jon

Jonr SSCrazy Points: 2566 More actions · Answer 4

...you get *really* worked up about the indents in Query Analyser not displaying properly when you double click on a stored proc in Enterprise Manager.

Jon Reade

Jon

Jonr SSCrazy Points: 2566 More actions · Answer 5

..you have to tell recruitment agents "No, MICROSOFT Sql Server, not SYBASE"...

Jon Reade

Jon

spongemagnet SSCrazy Points: 2812 More actions · Answer 6

... you wish Bank of America would let you download your (personal) statements in XML.

-Ken

spongemagnet SSCrazy Points: 2812 More actions · Answer 7

you might be a dba if you..

... handle problematic users by putting a trigger on sysprocesses, killing any connection that user tries to make

-Ken

cardinal Newbie Points: 7 More actions · Answer 8

You are defeinitely a DBA if...

you read these and laugh. 🙂

sepahram SSC Enthusiast Points: 128 More actions · Answer 9

At the end of prayer , you say COMMIT instead of Amen!

Amir

shadowtraitor Newbie Points: 9 More actions · Answer 10

OR

you are the only one in your office who knows that the data aware applications that are used in the office ( coded in C or some other letter ) are not the database and hence not your responsibility

Not even you shadow is to be trusted ..... words of : SHADOWTRAITOR

brosa@ulbrich.com Grasshopper Points: 11 More actions · Answer 11

You just might be a DBA if...

you users are complaining about response time and you tell them the database needs to be reorged... and they have no idea what you are talking about.

rolus Mr or Mrs. 500 Points: 518 More actions · Answer 12

...When the mention of Excel causes the veins in your head to start bulging and you run for the nearest exit.

**Everyone knows Excel is the Devil

Robert W Marda SSChampion Points: 13413 More actions · Answer 13

If you start finding ways (or think your finding ways) to block less experienced people with sa priveleges from performing tasks just to see if you can stump them.

Robert Marda

Robert W. Marda
Billing and OSS Specialist - SQL Programmer
MCL Systems

Jeff W SSCertifiable Points: 5207 More actions · Answer 14

You just might be a DBA if......

The thought of cleaning tables has nothing to do with food

"Keep Your Stick On the Ice" ..Red Green

r.arvind SSC Rookie Points: 27 More actions · Answer 15

You open the transaction log when something is missing from your desk at office...