January 6, 2006 at 9:46 am
If at first you don't succeed, keep sucking until you do suck seed.
Attributed to Will Rodgers, but I don't think so...
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on your saddle.
The problem was just a loose nut on the keyboard.
from Texas
"You ain't jest a woofin'"
"What do you think of the rectum as a whole?"
The key to that one is the responses, such as
"I think the whole subject should be cleaned up and looked into."
or
"That's a nasty crack, and speaking of nasty cracks..."
January 6, 2006 at 9:59 am
If you can't say the things you want, you'll want to say the things you can't.
(from a radio interview with a man who was illiterate until recently)
January 6, 2006 at 10:11 am
If Knowledge were power I would be a AAA battery!
January 6, 2006 at 10:14 am
One of my favorites I use for my tagline:
"Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est" by Bacon
which translates to "knowledge is power itself" -- pretty cool for a Dark Ages monk.
Joe Johnson
NETDIO,LLC.
January 6, 2006 at 10:20 am
Famous Groucho Marx sayings:
Behind every great man is a woman. Behind her is his wife
I don't want to join any club that would have me as a member
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
Another favourite:
I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one...W.C.Fields
From lancashire, UK, said in surprise:
Well, tek me t'foot o' my stairs!
January 6, 2006 at 10:35 am
"No matter how important you think you are, the size of your funeral is determined only by the weather." -Unknown
You win some, lose some and wreck some - Dale Earnhardt
January 6, 2006 at 11:35 am
No matter how subtle the wizard, a blade between the shoulderblades will seriously cramp his style - Vlad Taltos
They experienced an ID-10-T error
We are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out - Babylon 5
When you send an idiot to school all you wind up with is an educated idiot
Stupid people shouldn't be offended when I point it out to them
I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything - Bart Simpson
Screw you guys, I'm going home - Cartman
no matter where you go - there you are
Programmers are just bit herders
January 6, 2006 at 11:37 am
Hi Steve,
I have several favorites:
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Support bacteria - the only culture some people have.
I went to school to become a wit, but only got halfway though.
January 6, 2006 at 11:44 am
My favourite:
IFITISTOBEITISUPTOME
January 6, 2006 at 11:48 am
Along those lines:
TANSTAAFL
K. Brian Kelley
@kbriankelley
January 6, 2006 at 12:08 pm
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun --
Self knowledge is always bad news
-- Zorba the Greek --
January 6, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Don't teach a pig to whistle. Its a waste of your time, and annoys the pig.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what does an empty desk signify?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
We love standards. That's why we have so many of them to choose from.
Bad artists always admire each other's work -- Oscar Wilde, in The Importance of Being Ernest
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils -- Berlioz
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines -- Frank Lloyd Wright
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. -- A. E. Einstein
It is impossible to foresee te consequences of being clever -- Christopher Strachey
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. -- Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943
If you torture the data enough, it will confess -- Ronald Coase, Winner 1991 Nobel Prize in Economics
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. -- Janet Reno, Attorney General, Feb 2, 1998
"I consider theory as a tool that reduces the amount of experimentation, often by an infinite amount." --Jayadev Misra
You're pissing in my face and telling me its raining!!! -- (name withheld out of respect)
Looking at some prior postings:
Slicker than snot on a door knob! - usually referring to some piece of code I have just written. -- Angela Henry
And usually equally pleasant for the next person who finds it!
-- David Lathrop
David Lathrop
DBA
WA Dept of Health
January 6, 2006 at 1:05 pm
Similar to another posting:
"There are two sides to every story and somewhere between lies the truth."
or
"There are three sides to every story - your side, their side, and the truth."
"Life is a journey, not a destination"
"When life gives you lemons, add vodka and chill"
January 6, 2006 at 1:27 pm
My favorite one of all time is;
Piss poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
January 6, 2006 at 1:27 pm
"There's never time to do it properly, but there's always time to do it twice!"
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