Does your current hardware run well? If so, you have an idea of what's needed. For Dev, I'd try to get close to prod, maybe half (or quarter) size so...

tindog (4/27/2016)

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I'd love to go to this, but have no SQL-y friends and get v anxious in unfamiliar places where I don't know anyone! (Never been to Liverpool)

I'll have to...

Excellent, say hi.

Like this: http://www.sqlservercentral.com/blogs/briankmcdonald/2010/11/05/sqlbigeek_1920_s-function-friday-_1320_-return-last-date-of-the-prior-month/

It's going to be a bit complex. Perhaps you can show some DDL and what you'd like?

If I have 3 fields, and 2 changes, do you want 2 fields returned...

Thanks, closing this for now.

bump

Is this function used elsewhere? In non-trigger code? If so, then I'd follow Kevin's advice. If not, I'd follow Hugo.

+1 to Hugo's thoughts, though I'd also note I want to be sure everyone (other sysadmins and developers) know the triggers exist. They are easy to forget about.

The new defaults in SQL 2016 are 1 per logical core, up to 8. I haven't typically worried about tempdb in many installs, but this seems like a small preventative...

As Kevin mentioned, this can be an issue.

One thing to shortcut is to calculate a hash across the row, and then only check UPDATED() if the hash is different. Again...

Cloud providers know this, but I think they'd like to get you to code better. After all, they want successes and more customers, not just overcharging a few.

Part of the...

Simpler, but I've done some of these: http://exercism.io/

Python is built to use modules. Trying to not use them, in some sense, defeats the purpose. I guess it gains algorithmic practice,...

There are issues, but you can use sp_OAxxx procs: http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1033076-391-1.aspx

Maybe some other help or a way to automate things: https://www.simple-talk.com/sql/t-sql-programming/sql-server-excel-workbench/

I'll be there sometime Thur. Fly in late Wed to LHR and stay there, then try to make my way up. Thought about flying, but not great times/flights up, so...