Agree with Steve. By the way, nice function. I think that's the first time I've seen a SQL Server function that's a function that includes logic without touching tables.

If you see the same data, same execution plans, you've updated stats (implying same exec plan) and latency as well as CPU is the same, there must be something underlying...

I'll see if I can get some answer from MS, but likely, the answer is you need to create with a new password. At least, I hope that's it to...

Are all the latencies in terms of disk values that SQL sees, and the CPU usage differing? I'm thinking that you need to show that there is something different that...

Good developers make mistakes on simple things.  This is one of those areas that we should have a system handle itself because the permutations of regional differences is crazy.

Execution plans the same? Row counts in dbs that same? I'd make sure this is the case first.

I assume you mean that creating the logins with a new password isn't OK?

First, that's horrible security. If you can't change a password, you are asking to be...

I believe UCP is being abandoned as essentially no one used it. I think you will need SSMS 16.x or earlier, which should still be on your machine. Might keep...

We are looking at updating the PoSh Stairway for this reason. PoSh has changed a lot. Likely we'll go with WS2008+ and W8+ as the PoSh installation.

Your requirements are very ambiguous.
"a value from a column for a date and another value from another column for another date"

This is vague and a reason why...

Apparently I can't count.

It's certainly the year of  1 step forward, 1 back for me. I guess I'll finish around 7-6