BWWWAAAAA-HAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAA!!!! HOOOOIIIEEEE!  Man, I laughed 'til my sides hurt.

Like many of you, I get a lot of notifications from various groups I've signed up for.  Here's a snippet of one...

Upon a quick google I think I should be looking for a Tasks entry on the right click menu, however I don't see that as an option when I...

With one exception, all of the VARCHAR columns in that table are VARCHAR(MAX), which is a LOB datatype.  That's the first...

A logical read is an 8K page. Divide the reads by 128 to get the...

Yes.  You can verify that by right clicking on the table in the Explorer window of SSMS and...

I totally agree with Scott on this one... the IDENTITY column is not needed, occupies space on each page (which is also reflected in memory and disk), and is a...

With one exception, all of the VARCHAR columns in that table are VARCHAR(MAX), which is a LOB datatype.  That's the first thing that...

It means it's not waiting on anything.  Since you're doing more than 4 million reads (more than 31GB of I/O), you likely have some performance challenged code that needs to...

Heh... wait for it... 😉

What's in the data you're returning?  Any LOBS?

There's something wrong with the index on the persisted column or the persisted column itself.  It should be as fast as the permanent column you just added.  Perhaps the statistics...

All the innovative data management software in recent times comes from Amazon, Cloudera, open source and numerous disruptive startups who have made advances that have left the...

Heh... as of late and at the rate that MS is pushing versions, my answer to the question posed by this thread is... every time we're forced to do an...

I don't know of any official reasons but my take on it is... we are talking about the company that can't display a match between the listed MB allocations in...

However,  all of the important innovations in data management over the last 6-10 years have happened outside the core "SQL DBMS" space. I suspect that will continue to be...