In what way is it not working?

select name, recovery_model_desc, log_reuse_wait_desc from sys.databases where name = 'myDBName'

(replace mydbname with the real name of that...

I think if you were going over the row size, the entire update/insert would fail.

If you go to query analyser and run

SELECT LEN(VarcharColumn) from TheTable

what do you get?

Exists doesn't care about the number of records. It's just checking to see if one does, or doesn't exist. It will return true as soon as it hits the first...

If there's a syntax roblem, the parser will pick it up. Other than that, you have to debug the code. Just like for C#, VB, Java and all the other...

No, they won't. At best an exec plan...

Not that I've ever heard of. That's why skilled DBAs/sql developers are still needed.

What kind of problems? Logic? Exceptions? Performance? Invalid data?

Or if you feel like been less verbose (and slightly more cryptic)

IF DB_ID(''?'') > 4

All user dbs have DatabaseIDs greater than 4

Then in your sp_reindexing proc, use the objectproperty that...

I don't think that's stored anywhere in the index DMVs. I have seen missing index information included in the xml showplan, so if you dig through the plan cache you...

How many pages do the tables have?

Re org doesn't touch the non-leaf levels of the index, whereas rebuild does. That could be the cause of some of your differences.

Oh, and...

I think it depends on the company. The attitude the company has, the way they do business, the way they treat staff, the management, ...)

I've been an in-house 'programmer' (/admin/troubleshooter/GDB)...

Mine or Adam's?

The DateMonthStarts I pointed you at will take a date and return the 1st day of that month.

Write the code into a user defined function, so that...

Could you be a bit more specific please?

One small piece of advice. Know management studio backwards. The simulations in that exam catch a lot of people. A colleague of mine got 100% on the questions, yet failed...

Buy the suggested books and study for the exam. Brain dumps are cheating, plain and simple (and to boot, often incorrect)

I, and a lot of other people on this site,...

Nice article, and a nice informal tone.

I am going to argue one point though. You say

Even the estimated and actual execution plans lie! Both say that we're only processing (touching)...