September 8, 2016 at 5:58 am
I sometimes see posts that make me wonder if the written text would have been spoken when face to face. And, this applies to most electronic communication, emails, texts, FB posts...
September 8, 2016 at 6:17 am
Gary Varga (9/8/2016)
manie (9/8/2016)
...The only way to get this right is practise, practise and practise.This is your advice for getting in trouble with ones wife??? :laugh:
What? Have you got better advice, Gary???:hehe::hehe::hehe::hehe: I think the best advice for husbands is to always just say you are wrong!! :w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t:
Manie Verster
Developer
Johannesburg
South Africa
I am happy because I choose to be happy.
I just love my job!!!
September 8, 2016 at 6:26 am
That said, I still feel like a learner in this field.
I do not think there are experts in this field. I there are then congratulations!! We can never graduate from the university of life unless we are not on earth anymore. (meaning in heaven) Some of us just find it easier to keep the mouth closed and the foot on the ground.:-):-)
Manie Verster
Developer
Johannesburg
South Africa
I am happy because I choose to be happy.
I just love my job!!!
September 8, 2016 at 6:27 am
manie (9/8/2016)
Gary Varga (9/8/2016)
manie (9/8/2016)
...The only way to get this right is practise, practise and practise.This is your advice for getting in trouble with ones wife??? :laugh:
What? Have you got better advice, Gary???:hehe::hehe::hehe::hehe: I think the best advice for husbands is to always just say you are wrong!! :w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t:
I like living dangerously 😀
Gaz
-- Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen...they're everywhere!!!
September 8, 2016 at 6:31 am
It's "unto"...."do unto others..."
"Do on to others..." just sounds wrong. 😀
September 8, 2016 at 6:37 am
manie (9/8/2016)
Gary Varga (9/8/2016)
manie (9/8/2016)
...The only way to get this right is practise, practise and practise.This is your advice for getting in trouble with ones wife??? :laugh:
What? Have you got better advice, Gary???:hehe::hehe::hehe::hehe: I think the best advice for husbands is to always just say you are wrong!! :w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t:
I tried that, then I got in trouble for always being wrong!
How to post a question to get the most help http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537
September 8, 2016 at 6:49 am
It just sounds to me like you got yelled at recently. Of course what you say is true, kindness goes a long way, in communication or otherwise. I guess I work around a good group of people and we don't seem to have that problem. So having a daily editorial telling me I need to communicate better seems wasted, for me anyway. Reading through the other responses I must be in the minority. That's too bad so many of us (not me) have to live and work in such a hostile environment. I hope this editorial improves that.
September 8, 2016 at 6:58 am
I don't know who came up with the idea of adding an 'Edit' button to this forum, but they were spot on. We probably wouldn't still be here is it weren't for that little thing. 🙂
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
September 8, 2016 at 7:05 am
Eric M Russell (9/8/2016)
I don't know who came up with the idea of adding an 'Edit' button to this forum, but they were spot on. We probably wouldn't still be here is it weren't for that little thing. 🙂
Now we just need a "Naughty" button that when pressed would send a private message to the author suggesting that they might want to rethink their post. 😛
Gaz
-- Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen...they're everywhere!!!
September 8, 2016 at 7:17 am
Gary Varga (9/8/2016)
Eric M Russell (9/8/2016)
I don't know who came up with the idea of adding an 'Edit' button to this forum, but they were spot on. We probably wouldn't still be here is it weren't for that little thing. 🙂Now we just need a "Naughty" button that when pressed would send a private message to the author suggesting that they might want to rethink their post. 😛
Topix.com has this feature where one can flag posts with icons like naughty, billiant, nuts, etc.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
September 8, 2016 at 7:29 am
Some of the best training I have had has not been technical. It has been soft skills related. I learned an important concept called "managing up". This is where you manage your manager and boy does your life get easier when you do that one right.
I wrote DBAs vs Developers: A Sad Tale of Unnecessary Conflict[/url] based on my experiences.
Human behaviour is driven by a number of things and we have to factor in fear and the fight or flight response into it.
I've said it before but being in a situation where you are accountable for something (you are going to get blamed) but are not responsible for that thing (you don't have the authority to stop it happening) is horrible.
The frustration of not getting your point across, much less understood is awful. The fear comes from knowing that failing to do so will result in you and your colleagues getting the 3am and weekend phone calls while the protagonists will be sleeping like babies or in the pub. Having been saddled with yet another brick albatross you have to act as nursemaid hoping that the next one at least allows you to catch your breath before hitting you in the face.
If you are the sole representative of your discipline in a team charged with ensuring that your discipline is enacted then you have to be strong enough to hold your own against a team. The stronger the team the stronger you have to be. In such an arms race even the smallest adversary gets labelled as arrogant if they fight against the consensus. Be kind to a QA guy, they are further around the S bend even than DBAs.
That it is why we have to talk to the right people. A discussion with the lead developer is going to be more effective than a fight with the entire team. If you can't win the lead developer around then you stand no chance with the team.
I think it needs to be recognised that while we have a duty to present our messages in a way that is conducive to being received the other side has to be prepared to meet us half way.
I've been mulling over people's approaches to databases for some time and I think that our role has to change fundamentally. People are beginning to realise the bleeding obvious that data is actually worth something and lots more people and business roles now have to have their hands on that data. We simply can't lock it all down, protect it with bureaucracy and police it. We don't have the man-power or time and it is contrary to what business people are actually trying to achieve.
People's roles demand that they use the data so they will find a way to get that data and to use it whether we help or hinder them. Therefore our role has to evolve towards a mentoring and educating role. I don't think we are in a position to issue "Thou shalt's and Thou Shalt Not's" any more if ever we ever had the luxury of doing so.
September 8, 2016 at 7:32 am
David.Poole (9/8/2016)
I think that our role has to change fundamentally. People are beginning to realise the bleeding obvious that data is actually worth something and lots more people and business roles now have to have their hands on that data. We simply can't lock it all down, protect it with bureaucracy and police it. We don't have the man-power or time and it is contrary to what business people are actually trying to achieve.
I couldn't agree more.
September 8, 2016 at 7:41 am
Yeah, I wanted to say the same but i thought it might sound too 'high brow'.
Actually though, I think techies often begin with the expectation that a non-techie hasn't thought something through fully and then they jump to conclusions. I am guilty of this, so when I remember, I just try to remember to listen and let the person finish what they are saying and then try to understand their point rather picking on small mistakes. It's more respectful and more productive 🙂
September 8, 2016 at 8:03 am
Maybe somtimes veteran forum members make invalid assumptions about the technical expertise of new members, so called "grasshoppers", who quite possible know more in actuality than any of the regulars. I sure it happens on occasion, but that type of discrimination (perhaps unconscious) is just plain wrong. Nobody here is a final authority on any aspect of SQL Server, and the industry is constantly changing and broadening.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_Moved_My_Cheese
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
September 8, 2016 at 8:45 am
Very good article, Ben. I like to think that I'm good at communication 90% of the time. But I know I've made those mistakes. What I've found is that I am worse at it when I'm tired. What I dread is that I'm sure I'll make such a mistake again in the future. Even if I'm a good communicator 90% of the time, its the 10% where I'm a bad communicator that is remembered.
Kindest Regards, Rod Connect with me on LinkedIn.
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