Toilets and Your Systems

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Toilets and Your Systems

Grant Fritchey

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February 24, 2020 at 12:00 am

#3724789

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"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
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Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1003863 More actions · Answer 1

From the article:
One of the reasons I love history is because it really does teach us so much.

This is why old folks rock. It's not "history" to them... it's actual "experience" that we somehow managed to live through.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398690 More actions · Answer 2

Jeff Moden wrote:

From the article:
One of the reasons I love history is because it really does teach us so much.
This is why old folks rock. It's not "history" to them... it's actual "experience" that we somehow managed to live through.

Did you just say that you served on the U-1206 and were the one that flushed the toilet?

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1003863 More actions · Answer 3

Heh... No. I served on the USS Haddo (SSN 604), which almost went down twice in the same week because some newbie Chief (skimmer convertee) that they "radioed" the qual card of (being an ex submarine sailor, you know what that means) so the Chiefs could be in 10 section duty on the Ballast Control Panel (BCP) forgot to close the outboard induction valve during "Emergency Deep" drills and the head value on the snorkel failed to automatically close. Quite literally, the "A-gangers" and the Sonar-men (strange that those two groups got along so well) had to disassemble and rebuild the diesel and the LP Blower both times, not to mention flush-down all of the Diesel Generator room because it had filled most of the way up with water and the idiot didn't see the bilge alarm, either. Thank God that all of the electronics were in hermetically sealed cabinets.

The other idiot, the Diving Officer, never turned his head to look at the BCP to double check that there was a "straight-board".

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

John N Hick Ten Centuries Points: 1320 More actions · Answer 4

Dang - things weren't so complicated for us ground-pounders.

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398690 More actions · Answer 5

Well, there was the time, on a surface ship, where I was helping a team unclog a toilet. Some bright switch (not me) decided to hook the high pressure air to the toilet line to just blow it out that way. Guess what? They messed up the valve alignment. We vented the sewage line into the bathroom, effectively painted the walls with you know what. It was really cool, especially because I had watch starting in five minutes so I couldn't help with the cleanup.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1003863 More actions · Answer 6

John N Hick wrote:

Dang - things weren't so complicated for us ground-pounders.

No? I think that getting shot at, possibly stepping into a hidden dung coated set of spikes, setting off a trip wire, stepping on a land mine, etc, etc, made things a little complicated. And you guys did that everyday if you were "on site". My hat is off to ground pounders everywhere even if they're "just" standing watch.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

jschmidt 17654 SSCommitted Points: 1610 More actions · Answer 7

We had one of those radioed chiefs on USS Seahorse. "Commence Ventilating", then mistook the low pressure blow switches for the blower hull valve switches and we popped to the surface to wave hello to the Italian frigate teamed with us to stop weapons runners during the Yugoslav wars. At least it happened there and not near Murmansk.

GeorgeCopeland SSCertifiable Points: 6997 More actions · Answer 8

To bring the discussion back to topic, what I take from the examples is this: Industry standards are there for a reason. Find out what they are and follow them. If you diverge from them, triple check that you know what you are doing.

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1003863 More actions · Answer 9

jschmidt 17654 wrote:

We had one of those radioed chiefs on USS Seahorse. "Commence Ventilating", then mistook the low pressure blow switches for the blower hull valve switches and we popped to the surface to wave hello to the Italian frigate teamed with us to stop weapons runners during the Yugoslav wars. At least it happened there and not near Murmansk.

Lordy... that's so dangerous. At least it didn't result in a "Mark on Top". We ended up bending the attack scope back at a 45 degree angle because of such stupidity under ice. I was the Lead Sonarman and they wanted to come to periscope depth at night "up north". There was a lot of noise around us and I told them not to come up because I couldn't put a make on the sound. They blew me off and the last words the conning office uttered before handle-bars on the scope swatted him across con was "No Shadows, no shapes". I slept with that UNQ-7 tape of the white-rat we had in con for the rest of the trip. I also ended up being a part of the topside team that cut that bad boy off and tapped in a massive DC Plug.

Since I'm much older now and "It Depends" now has two meanings, you don't actually want to tell me to "Commence Ventilating". 🙂

Glad to make the acquaintance of another SSN bubble-head.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

GeorgeCopeland SSCertifiable Points: 6997 More actions · Answer 10

GeorgeCopeland

SSCertifiable

Points: 6997

February 24, 2020 at 6:17 pm

#3728346

Dang squids.

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1003863 More actions · Answer 11

GeorgeCopeland wrote:

To bring the discussion back to topic, what I take from the examples is this: Industry standards are there for a reason. Find out what they are and follow them. If you diverge from them, triple check that you know what you are doing.

Funny you should say that. A long time ago, I used to almost unquestioningly believe in "Industry Standards", "Best Practices", and a bunch of other things that all have the same ring to them.

I've been burned by so many of those that my stand now is "Before you do anything according to some standard or best practice, understand that even they may have been written by an idiot and adopted just because of how many other idiots agree. " To wit, my suggestion is that if you agree with them, triple check that they're actually based on good advice and that they actually do fit/solve your problem.

Yep... I know... sounds like "redeveloping the proverbial wheel" and, to a smaller extent, it is. But it's a whole lot better than being run over by a wheel that you don't actually know anything about other than it hurt like hell when it ran you over (voice of multiple experiences there). And, no... I'm not saying that all "standards" and "Best Practices" are bad. It just that, especially by the way they're written and, sometimes, who they're written by, you can't actually tell the good from the bad unless you do some serious studying and testing, especially in the world of software and the hardware it lives on.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

GeorgeCopeland SSCertifiable Points: 6997 More actions · Answer 12

I am not sure that I understand what you are saying Jeff. To me, you sound like you are saying that industry standards are not a good idea. If that is what you are saying, that is very bad advice.

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1003863 More actions · Answer 13

Nope. I'm not saying that industry standards are bad. Just make sure that they're not going to cause damage because, like anything else, even an industry standard can be bad/incorrect and it might yet have been proven to be bad. Or, vice versa can also true.

One example of the latter is a fuel that my Dad designed (we're working on a patent since his passing). All of the industry standards said that you should never mix the components of the fuel he used. He found a way to do it and produced a fuel that's an environmentally benign replacement for Otto fuel (which is extremely toxic and creates a type of cyanide gas when burned) that actually has more energy density, damned near put out the bonfire during the bonfire test, did not explode during either the blasting cap or 50 caliber testing, and, if you water it down a bit, you can brush your teeth with it with no side effects other than better breath and whiter teeth. Otto fuel also burns so dirty that it requires the engines on test vehicles to need to be disassembled, cleaned (and all waste is classified as "Environmental Hazard"), and rebuilt. The fuel my Dad designed is so clean that you never have to clean the engine.

Then there's the 5/30 "Best Practices" for doing index maintenance. A few people (including the author that never intended it to be a fixed "Best Practice") understand that but the rest of the world is using it as a "Best Practice".

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398690 More actions · Answer 14

GeorgeCopeland wrote:

I am not sure that I understand what you are saying Jeff. To me, you sound like you are saying that industry standards are not a good idea. If that is what you are saying, that is very bad advice.

I'm sure Jeff'll answer too.

I like best practices. I advocate for them. I would however, never apply them blind. I would understand why they were picked and then I would apply them through a testing process.

Just one example, the "Best Practice" for SQL Server configuration for Sharepoint is disable the automatic creation of statistics because "it could change the execution plan". Well, yeah, having statistics could indeed change the execution plan... for the better.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning