T-SQL Haiku

  • jburkman

    Right there with Babe

    Points: 768

    Many thanks to Derek Karpinski for providing the basis of this idea!

    Let's have a haiku contest!

    You can only use the Reserved Keywords for T-SQL (ms-help://MS.SQLCC.v9/MS.SQLSVR.v9.en/tsqlref9/html/ed8b3e27-6796-40f0-aef3-0cac5e0e2418.htm), and the non-fancy old 5-7-5 kind of Haiku.

    Yes, it's a silly idea. But you may also see a keyword you didn't know existed and learn something new 😀

    I offer this hairball of creativity, posted earlier on a derail:

    DENY SOME USER

    IDENTITY IS SHUTDOWN

    PRIMARY ESCAPE

  • James Raddock

    Mr or Mrs. 500

    Points: 519

    I call this one "Bear Sterns"

    DEFAULT TRANSACTION

    CROSS PUBLIC DECLARE DUMP GROUP

    USE TRIGGER DUMMY

  • franp-424154

    SSC Veteran

    Points: 243

    What a fun idea!

    LOAD CURRENT_USER

    AUTHORIZATION UPDATE ALL

    BROWSE NOT WITH CONSTRAINT

  • RBarryYoung

    SSC Guru

    Points: 143327

    I call this "Presidential Campaign, 2008":

    [font="Courier New"]WAITFOR PRIMARY

    SELECT RIGHT IDENTITY

    PRECISION IS ALL

    [/font]

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • Steve Jones - SSC Editor

    SSC Guru

    Points: 715841

    Very nice! I like that one.

  • RBarryYoung

    SSC Guru

    Points: 143327

    Thanks, Steve!

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • Christopher Stobbs

    SSC-Insane

    Points: 21098

    CHECK DUMMY IN GROUP

    AUTHORIZATION DENY

    TRY SAVE DUMMY NOT

    ----------------------------------------------
    Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley

    :w00t:
    Posting Best Practices[/url]
    Numbers / Tally Tables[/url]

    SQL-4-Life
  • Adonia Delavigne-521648

    SSCommitted

    Points: 1598

    public statistics

    trigger off foreign values

    convert user view

  • Adonia Delavigne-521648

    SSCommitted

    Points: 1598

    escape outer view

    cascade is like cross current

    primary break between

  • KenSimmons

    SSCertifiable

    Points: 7822

    DROP DATABASE FILE

    IF NO BACKUP TO RESTORE

    BEGIN TO DENY

  • RBarryYoung

    SSC Guru

    Points: 143327

    Ken Simmons (6/24/2008)


    DROP DATABASE FILE

    IF NO BACKUP TO RESTORE

    BEGIN TO DENY

    ROFL! :laugh:

    Beautiful, Ken.

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • sgmunson

    SSC Guru

    Points: 110440

    How about the following?

    BEGIN TO COMMIT

    WHEN RECEIVE DUMP

    THEN END CONVERSATION

    Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...

    especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:

    Steve

    (aka smunson)

    :D:D:D

    Steve
    ‌(aka sgmunson)
    ‌:) 🙂 🙂
    Health & Nutrition

  • RBarryYoung

    SSC Guru

    Points: 143327

    smunson (6/26/2008)


    How about the following?

    BEGIN TO COMMIT

    WHEN RECEIVE DUMP

    THEN END CONVERSATION

    Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...

    especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:

    Steve

    (aka smunson)

    :D:D:D

    It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • sgmunson

    SSC Guru

    Points: 110440

    OOPS !!! Wasn't familiar with the specifics on that... here's a fix:

    BEGIN TO COMMIT

    WHEN RECEIVE CONTAINS DUMP THEN

    END CONVERSATION

    Turns out I did have 5 on line 1, but then it was 4 and 6 instead of 7 and 5.

    Steve

    (aka smunson)

    :):):)

    rbarryyoung (6/26/2008)


    smunson (6/26/2008)


    How about the following?

    BEGIN TO COMMIT

    WHEN RECEIVE DUMP

    THEN END CONVERSATION

    Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...

    especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:

    Steve

    (aka smunson)

    :D:D:D

    It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).

    Steve
    ‌(aka sgmunson)
    ‌:) 🙂 🙂
    Health & Nutrition

  • Ivanna Noh

    SSCarpal Tunnel

    Points: 4138

    SQL pick up line...:w00t:

    GETDATE FOR USER

    IF LANGUAGE IS NOT FOREIGN

    TRY CONVERSATION

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