T-SQL Haiku

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T-SQL Haiku

jburkman

Right there with Babe

Points: 768
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May 9, 2008 at 12:51 pm

#187455

Many thanks to Derek Karpinski for providing the basis of this idea!
Let's have a haiku contest!
You can only use the Reserved Keywords for T-SQL (ms-help://MS.SQLCC.v9/MS.SQLSVR.v9.en/tsqlref9/html/ed8b3e27-6796-40f0-aef3-0cac5e0e2418.htm), and the non-fancy old 5-7-5 kind of Haiku.
Yes, it's a silly idea. But you may also see a keyword you didn't know existed and learn something new
I offer this hairball of creativity, posted earlier on a derail:
DENY SOME USER
IDENTITY IS SHUTDOWN
PRIMARY ESCAPE

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 41 total)

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James Raddock Mr or Mrs. 500 Points: 569 More actions · Answer 1

I call this one "Bear Sterns"

DEFAULT TRANSACTION

CROSS PUBLIC DECLARE DUMP GROUP

USE TRIGGER DUMMY

franp-424154 SSC Veteran Points: 243 More actions · Answer 2

What a fun idea!

LOAD CURRENT_USER

AUTHORIZATION UPDATE ALL

BROWSE NOT WITH CONSTRAINT

RBarryYoung SSC Guru Points: 143329 More actions · Answer 3

I call this "Presidential Campaign, 2008":

[font="Courier New"]WAITFOR PRIMARY

SELECT RIGHT IDENTITY

PRECISION IS ALL

[/font]

[font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung [font="Arial Black"]
Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc. [/font][font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 738347 More actions Follow · Answer 4

Steve Jones - SSC Editor

SSC Guru

Points: 738347

May 12, 2008 at 8:28 am

#813831

Very nice! I like that one.

RBarryYoung SSC Guru Points: 143329 More actions · Answer 5

Thanks, Steve!

[font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung [font="Arial Black"]
Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc. [/font][font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

Christopher Stobbs SSC-Insane Points: 21098 More actions · Answer 6

CHECK DUMMY IN GROUP

AUTHORIZATION DENY

TRY SAVE DUMMY NOT

----------------------------------------------
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley

:w00t:
Posting Best Practices[/url]
Numbers / Tally Tables[/url]

SQL-4-Life

Adonia Delavigne-521648 SSCommitted Points: 1708 More actions · Answer 7

public statistics

trigger off foreign values

convert user view

Adonia Delavigne-521648 SSCommitted Points: 1708 More actions · Answer 8

escape outer view

cascade is like cross current

primary break between

Ken Simmons SSCertifiable Points: 7822 More actions · Answer 9

DROP DATABASE FILE

IF NO BACKUP TO RESTORE

BEGIN TO DENY

RBarryYoung SSC Guru Points: 143329 More actions · Answer 10

Ken Simmons (6/24/2008)
DROP DATABASE FILE
IF NO BACKUP TO RESTORE
BEGIN TO DENY

ROFL! :laugh:

Beautiful, Ken.

[font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung [font="Arial Black"]
Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc. [/font][font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

sgmunson SSC Guru Points: 110651 More actions · Answer 11

How about the following?

BEGIN TO COMMIT

WHEN RECEIVE DUMP

THEN END CONVERSATION

Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...

especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:

Steve

(aka smunson)

:D:D:D

Steve (aka sgmunson)
Rent Servers for Income (picks and shovels strategy)

RBarryYoung SSC Guru Points: 143329 More actions · Answer 12

smunson (6/26/2008)
How about the following?
BEGIN TO COMMIT
WHEN RECEIVE DUMP
THEN END CONVERSATION
Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...
especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:
Steve
(aka smunson)
:D:D:D

It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).

[font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung [font="Arial Black"]
Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc. [/font][font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

sgmunson SSC Guru Points: 110651 More actions · Answer 13

OOPS !!! Wasn't familiar with the specifics on that... here's a fix:

BEGIN TO COMMIT

WHEN RECEIVE CONTAINS DUMP THEN

END CONVERSATION

Turns out I did have 5 on line 1, but then it was 4 and 6 instead of 7 and 5.

Steve

(aka smunson)

:):):)

rbarryyoung (6/26/2008)
smunson (6/26/2008)
How about the following?
BEGIN TO COMMIT
WHEN RECEIVE DUMP
THEN END CONVERSATION
Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...
especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:
Steve
(aka smunson)
:D:D:D
It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).

Steve (aka sgmunson)
Rent Servers for Income (picks and shovels strategy)

Ivanna Noh SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4138 More actions · Answer 14

SQL pick up line...:w00t:

GETDATE FOR USER
IF LANGUAGE IS NOT FOREIGN

TRY CONVERSATION

T-SQL Haiku

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