Stop, Don't Panic

  • GSquared (3/16/2010)


    CirquedeSQLeil (3/16/2010)


    When people start congregating, I tell them I will let them know what the status is with regular email updates. Then I crank up the music 😀

    This works particularly well if your musical tastes include things that others aren't likely to appreciate, or if you're tone-deaf.

    For example, if you fire up Yanni, or disco, or anything by "boy band of the hour" (whatever they are), most people will avoid your desk like the plague.

    If you don't want to go quite that far, classical music works, and you can claim it helps you concentrate. Opera, if it's in a foreign language, works well for that too. Doesn't have to actually help, just has to be sleep-inducing or "sophisticated".

    Anyone who still wants to hang around after you fire up Wagner or Brahms can usually be chased away with a little Country/Western. Follow that with "My Lovely Lady Humps" (whatever the real name of that song is), or anything by Lady Gaga.

    Feeding the titles of really bad 70s/80s/90s bands into Pandora can accomplish all of this quite efficiently. Call it your "Crowd Control" playlist.

    If self-torture isn't your style, you can always turn it back off once everyone has either left or fallen asleep.

    Of course, you take the chance that you won't have any friends left, but at least the space around your desk will be cleared out so you can work.

    Disclaimer: I'm not responsible for any brain damage caused by using this tactic. Use it at your own risk. It hasn't been subjected to animal testing, because we couldn't get any volunteers. No humans were harmed in making this film.

    I do play opera, classical, heavy metal, grunge, new wave, country, disco, rap and I have the top 25 most annoying songs (per Billboard). I also have added a few more songs to that most annoying list that I find are quite annoying, but think they are funny because they are annoying to others present in my cube. 😀

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • Steve Jones - Editor (3/16/2010)


    I've actually had to tell a VP to "go away" when I was managing. It was bad enough that I would go in to check on DBAs. Having him walk in was like asking for trouble.

    I had a boss once who would walk such people back to their offices and leave me alone.

  • sjsubscribe (3/16/2010)


    Steve Jones - Editor (3/16/2010)


    I've actually had to tell a VP to "go away" when I was managing. It was bad enough that I would go in to check on DBAs. Having him walk in was like asking for trouble.

    I had a boss once who would walk such people back to their offices and leave me alone.

    Still remember being a computer operator back in the Air Force at a base level DPI. First thing we did when the computer crashed, took the phone off the hook. Then we started working on solving the problem. If it was during the day, one of us would go out front and tell everyone we were down, then go back in and work.

  • Phone off the hook is good. Probably first thing now is to set to vibrate, ignore most calls on the cell.

  • Steve Jones - Editor (3/16/2010)


    I've actually had to tell a VP to "go away" when I was managing. It was bad enough that I would go in to check on DBAs. Having him walk in was like asking for trouble.

    I had a senior manager (not in my reporting line) hovering during a disaster one time. The entire team was busy, we'd already done necessary investigations and were starting on getting things back up and running.

    So he's hovering there making a complete nuisance of himself and bothering everyone. Finally I turn to him, "Would you like to help out?"

    "Yes," he replies.

    I picked up my coffee cup and handed it to him. "Double black coffee, two sugars and milk please."

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • GilaMonster (3/16/2010)


    Steve Jones - Editor (3/16/2010)


    I've actually had to tell a VP to "go away" when I was managing. It was bad enough that I would go in to check on DBAs. Having him walk in was like asking for trouble.

    I had a senior manager (not in my reporting line) hovering during a disaster one time. The entire team was busy, we'd already done necessary investigations and were starting on getting things back up and running.

    So he's hovering there making a complete nuisance of himself and bothering everyone. Finally I turn to him, "Would you like to help out?"

    "Yes," he replies.

    I picked up my coffee cup and handed it to him. "Double black coffee, two sugars and milk please."

    Awesome.

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • In a previous job, we had a new Oracle-based application (our first). My employers had engaged a reseller to consult on implementation; their chief consultant fancied himself as a technical whiz but was actually a PITA. One day without warning the database dropped, the Unix lead and I were working on it as fast as we could when the consultant turned up and hovered. My response was along the lines of "I'm sure that watching us isn't the best use of your time, is it? We'll let you know when the system is back up", delivered with a smile, although I wasn't smiling on the inside.

    The consultant made himself scarce and the Unix lead turned to me with a big grin on his face and said "That's the most diplomatic way I've ever heard someone be told to F off!" 😛

    We had the database back up 5 minutes later......

  • This topic reminds me of a sign in a San Francisco-area hotel elevator which has always amused me. It's been there for over 10 years and still makes me smile:

    In Case of Emergency:

    1. Do not be alarmed

    2. Press the button marked "ALARM"

    I kid you not.

    :laugh:

  • One of the things that does annoy me about these sorts of situations is when management feels like they need to get involved at the ground level and "manage" the situation. Sorry guys, this is what you pay me for, just go away and let me do my thing.

    I have wound up in trouble at a previous site when a disaster led to the loss of a days worth of data (had to roll the database back to a previous backup and re-enter the data manually). We were having a meeting about it with 3/4 managers, 1/4 techies and the managers were running around like headless chooks. I said that we were already going to lose a day, we could afford to take an extra 5 minutes to make sure our recovery plan covered all the bases. Received a reprimand for my poor attitude.

    There's a couple of other things that have helped my ability to stay calm in this kind of situation. One is having been there... you can do all the practice you want but until you're faced with a disaster situation then you don't know how normally intelligent business people can turn into a large mob of very stupid, panicky people. The second is having married a surgeon. It puts things in perspective. Sure our job is important, but no-one is going to die. DBA's who aren't used to real pressure situations should go sit in an emergency department for a few hours for the perspective adjustment it will give you. Helps you stay calm under pressure.

  • What about you come in and someone else has already started a restore of the production database from midnight?

    It's real simple then... They didn't call me to ask my advice so they own it. Sounds mean, but it's not. If they want my help, they'll ask for it. I'm not going to be one of those folks that hover. The only thing I might do is launch pork chops at the other people hovering and get them the heck out of there so the guy or gal can work.

    Heh... when people hover around me (especially if they're yakking about the crisis problem), I stop and fold my arms. When people stop and ask me what I'm doing, I tell them "Nothing... and I'm going to keep do that until you folks go away. I'll email you when I know something. Yep... unless you wanna keep people away, then you too, Boss. I need some peace and quiet to fix this."

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • Jeff Moden (3/17/2010)


    What about you come in and someone else has already started a restore of the production database from midnight?

    It's real simple then... They didn't call me to ask my advice so they own it. Sounds mean, but it's not. If they want my help, they'll ask for it. I'm not going to be one of those folks that hover. The only thing I might do is launch pork chops at the other people hovering and get them the heck out of there so the guy or gal can work.

    Heh... when people hover around me (especially if they're yakking about the crisis problem), I stop and fold my arms. When people stop and ask me what I'm doing, I tell them "Nothing... and I'm going to keep do that until you folks go away. I'll email you when I know something. Yep... unless you wanna keep people away, then you too, Boss. I need some peace and quiet to fix this."

    Nice approach.

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • Jeff Moden (3/17/2010)


    What about you come in and someone else has already started a restore of the production database from midnight?

    It's real simple then... They didn't call me to ask my advice so they own it. Sounds mean, but it's not. If they want my help, they'll ask for it. I'm not going to be one of those folks that hover. The only thing I might do is launch pork chops at the other people hovering and get them the heck out of there so the guy or gal can work.

    Heh... when people hover around me (especially if they're yakking about the crisis problem), I stop and fold my arms. When people stop and ask me what I'm doing, I tell them "Nothing... and I'm going to keep do that until you folks go away. I'll email you when I know something. Yep... unless you wanna keep people away, then you too, Boss. I need some peace and quiet to fix this."

    And here I thought you'd at least mention your table clearing technique... :w00t:

    - Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
    Property of The Thread

    "Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

  • I don't know that I'd wash my hands of something that was ongoing. I've seen sysadmins try to do something because I was slower to respond, like the time I was taking my wife to the airport and the RAID array decided it was done working.

    The point I was hoping to get across is that you remain calm and assess what needs to be done. If someone else has things in hand, let them continue. If they might have made a mistake, make sure before you start undoing their work.

  • GSquared (3/17/2010)


    Jeff Moden (3/17/2010)


    What about you come in and someone else has already started a restore of the production database from midnight?

    It's real simple then... They didn't call me to ask my advice so they own it. Sounds mean, but it's not. If they want my help, they'll ask for it. I'm not going to be one of those folks that hover. The only thing I might do is launch pork chops at the other people hovering and get them the heck out of there so the guy or gal can work.

    Heh... when people hover around me (especially if they're yakking about the crisis problem), I stop and fold my arms. When people stop and ask me what I'm doing, I tell them "Nothing... and I'm going to keep do that until you folks go away. I'll email you when I know something. Yep... unless you wanna keep people away, then you too, Boss. I need some peace and quiet to fix this."

    And here I thought you'd at least mention your table clearing technique... :w00t:

    Heh... that works to but I have to be sure I'm not going to impact the poor slob that has to stay through it all.

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • Steve Jones - Editor (3/17/2010)


    I don't know that I'd wash my hands of something that was ongoing. I've seen sysadmins try to do something because I was slower to respond, like the time I was taking my wife to the airport and the RAID array decided it was done working.

    The point I was hoping to get across is that you remain calm and assess what needs to be done. If someone else has things in hand, let them continue. If they might have made a mistake, make sure before you start undoing their work.

    I agree and that's the point I was trying to make in my post. The worst thing you can do is to move too fast under pressure. There are certain things that need to be done and they have to be done in the correct order and without missing any steps. There are no shortcuts for certain problems and they have to be done "by the numbers". Other people aren't so aware... they'll sit on your shoulders and beat on your head yelling "I want an Easter Egg! I want an Easter Egg!".

    You just can't panic in such situations... instead, you have to be the calming factor so that either you or your peers can fix the problem correctly. My favorite statement in such crisis situations is "Slow down... you're moving too fast... we need to do this right."

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

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