Soft Skills

  • Adam Angelini

    SSCrazy Eights

    Points: 8538

    Comments posted to this topic are about the item Soft Skills

  • Paul Smith-221741

    SSCommitted

    Points: 1923

    I'm very lucky in this respect. My current (so far) manager is not from an IT background but rather from a communications one.

    At first I dreaded entering his office or even going to a meeting he was attending as at the end of every session there would be a soft skills analysis.

    But it Worked.

    There are still some managers (especially 1 female one) that I cannot seem to communicate with but together we are working on it and I'm sure that it will come together 😀

  • Jeff Moden

    SSC Guru

    Points: 994663

    What if you boss asked you to work on your "soft" skills.

    I'd take the nice Oak bat home and bring in a nice "soft" Pine bat 😛

    I'm a teacher at heart and have taught many courses and mentored many a developer. Soft skills are not a problem there. I do find it difficult to use soft skills when someone in high authority tells me to do something in the database that I absolutely know is wrong. It's starts out as a demonstration of soft skills but, depending on how insistant the manager becomes, I do sometimes bring out the Oak. 😉

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a row... think, instead, of what you want to do to a column.
    "If you think its expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."--Red Adair
    "Change is inevitable... change for the better is not."
    When you put the right degree of spin on it, the number 3|8 is also a glyph that describes the nature of a DBAs job. 😉

    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • GSquared

    SSC Guru

    Points: 260824

    Good question. My answer for soft skills is Scientology. Very effective.

    - Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
    Property of The Thread

    "Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

  • Ron McCullough

    SSC Guru

    Points: 63877

    I too have been asked (directed) to improve my softskills, since I have the unskilled propensity to tell the truth. The request of me to improve frequently occurs right after I have informed another manager of equal rank as my manager, or higher when I know an item will NOT work, or the work can not be done within either the time or budget constraints imposed.

    The suggested improvement generally follows along the namby pamby wording of "that might not be", "might be difficult to stay within".. notice the might be when in fact I know it will be. Having worked consulting gigs one definitely told it would be for 30 days, well that was extended to 180 days, another was told it would be for 3 months and that was extended to 18 months and finally the last one which I was told would be for a couple of months lasted 6 years, ending with my being offered a full time position with the firm ending my consulting experiences. And no gig was ever cut short!. And in all of them I was deficient in the "softskills".

    Being an old dog, too old to learn new tricks I bumble along and spend my studying time learning the new technologies as best I can. Following the mantra of you do not have to like me, but you do admit that my work is of the highest quality.

    If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

    Ron

    Please help us, help you -before posting a question please read[/url]
    Before posting a performance problem please read[/url]

  • Dr. Diana Dee

    SSCarpal Tunnel

    Points: 4231

    For soft skill acquisition, nothing beats Toastmasters.

    ):-D

  • Shaun McGuile

    SSCarpal Tunnel

    Points: 4111

    GSquared: Scientology?!?

    What does that mean? Cruise and Travolta come over and talk at you? 😀

    No the only truth is the "Theory of Constraints" - TOC.

    And yes I'm like bitbucket I call a spade a spade.

    I like spotting the flaws in other peoples' perfection, without predjudice of course. 😀

    I do not believe in ambiguity when it comes to deadlines and weather or not something is a good/feasible/rational idea.

    Hey thats probably why I'm not a 'manager'.:D

    --Shaun

    Hiding under a desk from SSIS Implemenation Work :crazy:

  • brendan.o'connor

    Valued Member

    Points: 52

    I have to say that this worry about soft skills is the exact same problem that other people have about math and computing. How many times have you heard some saying that they can't do math? Or they hate computers.

    Maybe I'm lucky because I moved from sales into computing or because my wife is a communications manager but communications skills can be learned like any other and require the same amount of rigor.

    And to equate soft skills and communication as almost lying is very naive. Anyone who is telling people to replace yes with maybe is lacking in confidence not communication skills.

    If you are in a discussion where you can't say yes to someone then that means the communication skills in your whole organization are lacking.

    I'd say if people have to fudge project timelines then they haven't engaged the customer in the planning of the project fully enough.

    Communication is all about engaging people in the process.

    It's telling the truth and making sure that all parties can deal with the truth.

  • Anipaul

    SSC-Insane

    Points: 24681

    Softskills comes 'softly' into one. :hehe:

    It takes time that's why freshers do not process it 😉

    Joke apart I believe softskills comes with experience.:)

  • Jason Miller-476791

    SSCommitted

    Points: 1510

    After a couple of meetings where I explained that some proposed solutions were lacking in their full consideration of variables, I was branded a malcontent. A short time later, I was "encouraged" to attend a couple of training seminars; "How to be an effective Communicator", etc. Incidentally, I'm still considered a malcontent, possibly a valuable contributor, but still a malcontent.

    I'm a few credits short for my masters in math, and one of the things that has been absolutely drilled into my head is proofs. It seems odd to me that the idea of True v. False is foreign to some. Quite often in meetings people will give examples of a business / process flow, citing several examples to "prove" their positions on something they want me to code/design. All I need to do is find one example that invalidates their plan. When I do, I get a combination of scorn, furious glares, and in one meeting the manager asking for the change storming out of the meeting.

    Someone once told me: "I'm very opinionated." I agree, and furthermore, if you can prove to me that my opinion is incorrect, I will still be opinionated, but my opinion will change to what is the truth/correct.

    So as you can tell, I'm often changing my opinions.

    Honor Super Omnia-
    Jason Miller

  • umailedit

    SSCrazy

    Points: 2087

    I think that the best 'soft' skills teacher is the book 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie. This book should be read once a year. Also for speaking, there are Dale Carnegie courses and books for public speaking.

  • brendan.o'connor

    Valued Member

    Points: 52

    as I mentioned it's more to do with peoples opinion of what soft skills are and the lack of confidence in organizations that causes people to be angered by the truth.

  • Captain Miserable

    Right there with Babe

    Points: 752

    I wouldn't say I actively seek out training resources for soft skills, but I've been fortunate enough to take a couple of courses where I work. When soft skills such as business writing (emails and communication focus), negotiations (Read 'Getting to Yes' - a very good resource), or other customer service related courses are offered, I will sign up.

    It's been a few years since my last soft-skills class, but the information has stayed with me, and continues to shape my communications both with coworkers, managers, and internal customers.

    Coming out of college, you tend to think you know everything, and that IT professionals should behave like "Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy" - Jimmy Fallon on SNL. After a few nasty email battles and failed attempts to get results from other software vendors, my manager recommended these soft skills classes, as they became available. The whole world has opened up for me since then, and I have found soft skills to be every bit as important as the IT training that I've received over the years.

  • Grant Fritchey

    SSC Guru

    Points: 395510

    Soft skills... Soft skills....

    OH! I know. That's when you use wrist locks and grapple into submission holds rather than smash their face flat and kick their naughty bits up between their ears... Yeah, I've got those. No problem.

    Jeff, they made me take ALL the weapons home. How do you rate a bat?

    But on a (slightly) more serious note, it is hard for some of us to polish our soft skills. I can make two suggestions. Talk to a manager/mentor/leader that you like and respect and find out how he/she does it. I found one book really interesting on this topic just this year. It's called Becoming A Technical Leader by Gerald Weinberg. Worth a read.

    Now, back to more important topics... Would a jo... uh, I mean, walking stick, yeah, a walking stick, be OK?

    ----------------------------------------------------
    The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood...
    Theodore Roosevelt

    The Scary DBA
    Author of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd Edition
    Product Evangelist for Red Gate Software

  • Shaun McGuile

    SSCarpal Tunnel

    Points: 4111

    Sock with a roll of quaters - cos people are scared of change 😀

    Hiding under a desk from SSIS Implemenation Work :crazy:

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