June 16, 2011 at 11:13 am
vliet (6/16/2011)
...It is often very difficult to explain to ordinary users (especialy managers) why you can't extract the data they need from the available databases. This phrase is used to make a long story short 🙂 and has the pleasing side-effect of painting a puzzling frown on that person's face.
Sadly it's not just 'ordinary users', often people who should really know better build whole arguments on data that's quite likely innaccurate, or even dead wrong. Plenty of examples in the newspapers.
...
-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers --
June 16, 2011 at 11:28 am
Fully Baked is a great one for non-techs and techs alike!
I also like "transparent". It worked in one particular shop quite well for non-techs as "don't worry, we know we could rock your world if we get this wrong but you won't even notice a change" and for non-techs as "buckle in tight, we're going to modify the plumbing, we have to get this one right".
There are no special teachers of virtue, because virtue is taught by the whole community.
--Plato
June 16, 2011 at 11:42 am
Andy Warren (6/15/2011)
Got a phrase that you use to share a difficult concept?
Non-technical person: "It's working! What was the problem?"
Me: "You don't really want to know."
Non-technical person: "Oh. OK, well thanks; have a good day."
June 16, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Peter Maloof (6/16/2011)
Andy Warren (6/15/2011)
Got a phrase that you use to share a difficult concept?Non-technical person: "It's working! What was the problem?"
Me: "You don't really want to know."
Non-technical person: "Oh. OK, well thanks; have a good day."
The problem with "you don't want to know" is that it often comes across as "I'm too embarassed to tell you, so I'm going to try to blow you off".
Better to stick with the traditional versions. "I had to retorque the hypercapacitors in the positronic flux array", and the such. 🙂
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
June 16, 2011 at 12:28 pm
[Better to stick with the traditional versions. "I had to retorque the hypercapacitors in the positronic flux array", and the such. 🙂
LOL!!
June 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm
When I'm working on a problem for a user, I normally end up telling them I have "half an idea" for how to fix it. The best part is that those half ideas are usually the ones that work. 😀
June 16, 2011 at 1:09 pm
GSquared (6/16/2011)
Peter Maloof (6/16/2011)
Andy Warren (6/15/2011)
Got a phrase that you use to share a difficult concept?Non-technical person: "It's working! What was the problem?"
Me: "You don't really want to know."
Non-technical person: "Oh. OK, well thanks; have a good day."
The problem with "you don't want to know" is that it often comes across as "I'm too embarassed to tell you, so I'm going to try to blow you off".
Better to stick with the traditional versions. "I had to retorque the hypercapacitors in the positronic flux array", and the such. 🙂
Useful for those situations where you accidentally leave the database in single user mode before leaving out for the day? 😀
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
June 16, 2011 at 1:25 pm
A phrase that makes me slighlty crazy and want to kill everyone in my office is "It is what it is"
Of Course it is what it is has anything ever not been what it was? Also I find that this is being said when people simply don;t want to look for a solution so they say "It is what it is."
Dan
If only I could snap my figures and have all the correct indexes apear and the buffer clean and.... Start day dream here.
June 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Dan.Humphries (6/16/2011)
A phrase that makes me slighlty crazy and want to kill everyone in my office is "It is what it is"Of Course it is what it is has anything ever not been what it was? Also I find that this is being said when people simply don;t want to look for a solution so they say "It is what it is."
That's life, it is what it is.
June 16, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Signs of trouble that resonate:
What can possibly go wrong?
How hard can it be?
Of course I know what I am doing.
There should be no impact to the business.
It works on my machine.
Didn't you get my email?
It's OK, we don't need a backup, it's a simple fix
Hum, that's weird.
Does it normally do that?
June 16, 2011 at 7:29 pm
"Pushing on a string"
As in, you can push on a string all you want but progress only is made when someone is also pulling it from it the other end.
Example: if you are sending someone multiple emails about the same thing, and if they are not responding, you may very well be just pushing on a string.
Similar to the more well-known phrase "It takes two to tango."
June 17, 2011 at 3:53 am
Thanks for adding the link to the Dilbert site, it was indeed this comic! To ad just one little one-liner:
Wow, it works! But what did I do?
June 17, 2011 at 9:37 am
Terry Low-350996 (6/16/2011)
"Databases only like two words....ALWAYS and NEVER"
I think I will borrow that for the future. I've had a lot of "sometimes" requests for data extraction lately; it's hard to get some people to understand why T-SQL is not the same as a set of human eyes.
As for "it is what it is" I am quite guilty of using that. :Whistling: I am trying to say "We've been bemoaning why we have to do this in the first place (and putting out "shoulda coulda woulda" alternate scenarios) but there just isn't any way of getting around this task." and thankfully my coworkers usually get it.
I think my favorite phrase is "This process was built with shoestring and bubblegum." It really helps convey to techies and non-techies alike how non-robust some of our business processes have been in the past.
June 24, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Here is one of my favorite sayings in the IT industry as a whole:
"Doing a good job around here is like pissing your pants in a dark suit. You get a real warm feeling, but other than that nobody else notices.":-D
"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
January 6, 2012 at 3:35 am
I know I am late and that maybe no-one will read this but I have to write it anyway (for self-evident reasons):
Pure Muppetry = where the reason for doing something is not justifiable from ANYONE'S perspective!!!
Obviously kudos to Henson, Henson and colleagues...
Gaz
-- Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen...they're everywhere!!!
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