Sorry about my lack of tact in putting the emphasis on you being a woman. Think about it though - how many women would pick the handle of 'Loner'? In any case, you're a DBA and that is what counts on this site moreso than anything else.
I think the comment from a subsequent post about finding a manager who shields the programmers & technical people from politics is a bit of a tough call. Isn't that like trying to find the used car that might be a great performer for the next 20 years or a total lemon that someone is trying to offload?
Unfortunately, you cannot work out if a manager is good until you're there under their control - and a good political player will still keep you thinking that all is great while keeping the knife industry in business purely on what they bury in your back!
The only way around a situation such as what you are facing is to learn to play the game and to play it well - it will be when you gain some skills in this area is when things start to happen for you and your opinion won't be undermined by an idiot manager who has obviously ascended to their optimum level of incompetence.
Well... there is another solution that is often jokingly (albeit in bad taste) referred to as "going postal" but I would strongly recommend against going down this path.
Maybe, in the meantime, you could just give your manager a nickname that appeals to you and will make you smile while giving you an 'out' should anyone take issue. My favourite is 'Slinky' - as in: "Some people are good for nothing but they do make you smile when you push them down some stairs." The counter could be (if caught out using this name):
"Why do you call him/her 'Slinky'?"
"Because he/she is like a self-powering machine that keeps going until the job is done!" (a perfect political answer - you just don't say the bit after it aloud, "... after I push them down the stairs!")
Yeah - I know - I have this fixation with steps and people being pushed down them. Just call it the 'Slinky' thing as that helps me to not act on it...
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.