March 27, 2009 at 9:49 am
This probably goes beyond the topic of annoyances. I would be interested to hear how common harassment is in our industry. For women, minorities, and disabled.
If you are not the target of harassment you tend to think it doesn’t happen. I don’t see harrassment where I work and I hope it is not going on. Is this a bigger problem at large or small companies?
A coworker told me that back in the day before anyone got serious about harassment she was being harassed by a coworker constantly until one day she started crying. Another coworker who had not seen the harassment before asked her what was going on. He left for a few minutes and the offending coworker came back in and apologized and never bothered her again.
She later found out from a third coworker that the offending man was slammed against the wall and a credible threat of a broken leg had been made if he bothered her again.
March 27, 2009 at 10:16 am
I think it happens regularly, but hopefully not too often.
It's often in the eye of the beholder. People say/do things that they don't perceive as a big deal, but the receiver feels harassed. We need to evolve here a bit to allow the reporting and dealing of this by management/HR without repercussions for either side.
the reporter can't be shunned, and misunderstandings can't ruin careers.
March 27, 2009 at 11:58 am
I have never seen harrasment to the level that physical violence was involved and would be very concerned if i did, I hope that most companies would have policies in place to deal with this.
The only sort of harrasment I have witnessed is when people knowingly with hold information , especially detailed techincal information, from other workers for the purpose of making their job more difficult. Though this is maybe to classed as harasment, it is equally as petty and disruptive.
March 30, 2009 at 6:22 am
I guess that would depend on the definition of harassment. I've heard people define harassment as including overhearing an off-color joke being told in another office/cube. If that's the definition then I think it happens regularly.
Jack Corbett
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March 30, 2009 at 9:07 am
The definition is in the ear of the victim/beholder. However they have to let you know.
Overhearing something isn't harassment. If they say something, like that offends me and I can hear you, then the next time it is.
With verbal communications, I think you need to set that standard for each person, and the first offense has to be let go. Physically, no first chances. You don't get to touch anyone.
March 30, 2009 at 9:22 am
Bigfoot (3/27/2009)
This probably goes beyond the topic of annoyances. I would be interested to hear how common harassment is in our industry. For women, minorities, and disabled...
So, you don't think that non-handicapped, white, men need or deserve protection from harassment?
Or is your assumption that white men are the only ones guilty of harassment?
March 30, 2009 at 9:29 am
Everyone can be harassed, and everyone deserves protections.
Minorities might be harassed more, or might not be, however many feel they have received more discrimination. That's something different.
March 30, 2009 at 9:37 am
I don't need to ask about harassment towards white males. I can see and experience it. That is why I asked about harassment I do not see.
Depending on the nature of the harassment you can put up with it (minor teasing), ask the offending party to stop, or report it. I have had occasion to do all three.
March 31, 2009 at 11:57 am
At my work, I've seen playful teasing and sometimes ignorance towards the fact that women are nearby during casual conversation among some of the men in the office, but it's always by the same people, and they often realize it afterwards and make a light apology. The thing is though that there are quite a few relationships and marriages around the office so everybody is on fairly friendly terms anyways. So I personally haven't seen or heard of anyone being harassed to the point of tears, or any serious problems so far.
I would just like to note, however, that that was a pretty badass thing to do by the coworker in the first post. Although I wouldn't recommend that approach based on the legal issues that might have arisen, I respect their determination and initiative. 😀
March 31, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I've had a basically psychotic person stalk me at work, does that count? I didn't even have to complain about that one, because she was doing the same to pretty much everyone in the building, and the managers finally got creeped out enough to let her go. (Which begs the question, what the heck were they thinking when they hired her in the first place? It's not like it was a subtle problem.)
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March 31, 2009 at 1:03 pm
GSquared (3/31/2009)
(Which begs the question, what the heck were they thinking when they hired her in the first place? It's not like it was a subtle problem.)
The interviewers probably just thought she really liked them 😉
March 31, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Steve Jones - Editor (3/30/2009)
The definition is in the ear of the victim/beholder. However they have to let you know.Overhearing something isn't harassment. If they say something, like that offends me and I can hear you, then the next time it is.
With verbal communications, I think you need to set that standard for each person, and the first offense has to be let go. Physically, no first chances. You don't get to touch anyone.
I agree that anything physical is definitely a one and done offense, but I do disagree with the statement that the "definition is in the ear of the victim/beholder". Certainly offense can be taken without it being harassment and sure, if someone is offended by what I say or do and they let me know, I should be careful not to do that thing again in their presence, but if I do and they walk into range when I do it again I'm not harassing them unless I do it intentionally for them to hear or see it.
Jack Corbett
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March 31, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Jack Corbett (3/31/2009)
Steve Jones - Editor (3/30/2009)
The definition is in the ear of the victim/beholder. However they have to let you know.Overhearing something isn't harassment. If they say something, like that offends me and I can hear you, then the next time it is.
With verbal communications, I think you need to set that standard for each person, and the first offense has to be let go. Physically, no first chances. You don't get to touch anyone.
I agree that anything physical is definitely a one and done offense, but I do disagree with the statement that the "definition is in the ear of the victim/beholder". Certainly offense can be taken without it being harassment and sure, if someone is offended by what I say or do and they let me know, I should be careful not to do that thing again in their presence, but if I do and they walk into range when I do it again I'm not harassing them unless I do it intentionally for them to hear or see it.
The problem in this is that it's very hard to prove "lack of intent", just as it's hard to prove any negative. With lawyers and courts operating on the value of victimhood these days, you may just have to prove that negative, at your own cost, and with low chances of success.
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
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March 31, 2009 at 1:44 pm
The definition is in the ear of the victim/beholder. However they have to let you know.
I disagree that the definition is in the ear of the beholder.
My aunt was accused of being racist. She was explaining that she did not where green on Saint Patrick's day because her husband is black Irish and if she wore a color it would be orange. Someone listening assumed she was making an ethic joke.
March 31, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Not exactly harassment, but I worked at a place where the HR admin was very open about sharing the intimate details of not only her life but everyone else's.
She loved to share the graphic, intimate details of her sex life and I'm certain it never occurred to her that coworkers wouldn't want to hear everything.
At the same time, any personal information about other people she heard was sure to be shared throughout the company.
Not exactly the discretion that you would hope for in HR. I guess you could call it the open mouth policy.
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