That was amusing. I expecially liked "Scans." Life is like that.
Of course you realize that it would be more efficient to build your pantry clustered index based on a categorization of items and have alphabetically as a secondary or tertiary sort item, so that you could more easily seek and possibly even do partition elimination. Otherwise you could end up looking for spaghetti sauce, which was actually entered by someone else as pasta sauce and be looking on the wrong shelf entirely.
As a side note, I remember way back when Altavista was a popular search engine it did have some rudimentary expressions it would recognize + and - as keywords to include and exclude from results, and you could put things in "double quotes" to force the search engine to recognize multiple words as one keyword. Most serach engines now seem to ignore those notations or even worse take the + and - as keywords instead of modifiers.