Byte Me: Killer Conference

  • rlangsr

    Ten Centuries

    Points: 1316

    Comments posted to this topic are about the item Byte Me: Killer Conference

  • Rod at work

    SSC-Dedicated

    Points: 33142

    I totally love today's Byte Me cartoon. 😀

    Kindest Regards, Rod Connect with me on LinkedIn.

  • mjh 45389

    SSCertifiable

    Points: 5695

    Reminds me of the day I started a new job and found that they expected me to code in ScriptBasic and Lisp in addition to the languages (C, SQL) discussed at interview!

  • will 58232

    Old Hand

    Points: 351

    The brand new go to technology in the NoSQL arena is TrumpDB.

    The  same query in TrumpDB will always deliver a different answer.

    TrumpDB is super fast thanks to its complete lack of integrity.

    All your data is visible  to the Russians but this will change as soon as the Mexicans pay for the firewall.

    Those who believe all business code should be in the middleware will be delighted to discover that it is completely impossible to put any logic in a TrumpDB database.

    TrumpDB data warehouse automatically generates alternative facts for all your fact tables.

    TrumpDB replicates all adjectives so you can have big, big data with a tiny, tiny footprint (or possibly handprint).

    It's the most beautiful database server you will ever use, you'll love it.

  • Chris Harshman

    SSC-Forever

    Points: 41765

    What makes my head explode is that it seems that some IT vendors seem to rename everything every few years, so we have to keep relearning everything just with different names.  There's some things that I have to think back 3 terminology versions to remember what it actually is and what it's supposed to do.

  • below86

    SSChampion

    Points: 11256

    will 58232 - Wednesday, June 21, 2017 12:25 PM

    The brand new go to technology in the NoSQL arena is TrumpDB.

    The  same query in TrumpDB will always deliver a different answer.

    TrumpDB is super fast thanks to its complete lack of integrity.

    All your data is visible  to the Russians but this will change as soon as the Mexicans pay for the firewall.

    Those who believe all business code should be in the middleware will be delighted to discover that it is completely impossible to put any logic in a TrumpDB database.

    TrumpDB data warehouse automatically generates alternative facts for all your fact tables.

    TrumpDB replicates all adjectives so you can have big, big data with a tiny, tiny footprint (or possibly handprint).

    It's the most beautiful database server you will ever use, you'll love it.

    I love this, thanks for sharing. 🙂

    -------------------------------------------------------------
    we travel not to escape life but for life not to escape us

  • SQLRNNR

    SSC Guru

    Points: 281210

    Reminds me of the client that said they couldn't do patching because it would break too many of their ETL consultants processes.

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

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