Today’s coping tip is let go of other people’s expectations of you.
I think in general I’m not too concerned about what other people think of me, or expect me to do. I do, however, think that I can be a role model to others. I run SQL Saturday, I speak, I run SQL Server Central, and I coach kids. Certainly my own children see how I live my life as well and may emulate some things.
That leads to some expectations, and some responsibility, so it’s hard to not feel the weight of those expectations.
I haven’t found a way to let go, but I do let my feelings wash over me and let them go. There are times I might do something I’m not proud of, or that I think isn’t in character. Maybe I’m tired, hungry, or out of sorts in some way and I do/say/act in a way that I think isn’t appropriate.
I’ve learned to accept I’ll make mistakes and also to not dwell on those. I am also learning to apologize more, which helps me with the letting go of the feelings I have after making mistakes.
I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQL Server Central newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.