lookaback– n. the chock of meeting back up with someone and learning that your mental image of them had fallen wildly out of date – having grown up or gotten old, fallen apart, or pulled themselves together – which shakes your faith in the accuracy of the social puppet show that runs continuously inside your head.
Most of the time I’ve run into someone after time away, they are similar to what I expect. They’re older, or they’re heavier (as am I) or something, but it’s within the realm of what you might expect after the length of time.
I had lookaback a few times in the last few years, though and it’s a bit jarring. I had someone I knew that went through a rough stretch and they had gained a lot of weight. Like 150lbs more than when I saw them. More than the weight, however, their outlook on life, being a bit depressed and without a light in their eyes was a lookaback shock.
I have lookaback at times with kids I’ve coached, where I see them years later as young adults and I keep this image of a 12 or 13 year old that is now in their twenties, more mature, and much more grown up. It’s a contradiction in my head, as I still keep a glimpse of that younger person.
Lookaback can be positive or negative, and I keep hoping when it happens it’s a positive experience.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows