lackout – n. the sudden awareness that you’re finally over someone, noticing that the same voice that once triggered a cocktail of emotions now evokes nothing at all – as if your brain had returned the last box of their things and your heart had quietly changed its locks.
I think I’ve learned to have more lackout as I get older. Perhaps things impact me less or I judge less importance, but I find myself letting go of hard/sad/angry/disappointed/jealous/etc. negative feelings towards people much quicker, with lackout occurring sooner after an event.
Certainly this can happen with romantic relationships, though I think a lot of us never get over things and prefer not to see exes.
However, I’ve had that happen at work, where I am upset with someone, and I don’t want to hear their voice, or correspond in email, or even shake their hand. No hugs for sure.
The thing I’ve learned to do is let things go. Maybe one of the things I let go, which was public, was not being allowed on the ballet for the PASS Board of Directors. I was very upset with the committee, who I think let personal feelings get in the way of making a decision. I was quite angry with that group of people for a long time.
A few years.
However, I’ve seen a few since then and been not only civil, I find myself with lackout, having let that anger go.
Life is better without anger or grudges.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows