ghough – n. a hollow place in your psyche that can never be filled; a bottomless hunger for more food, more praise, more attention, more affection, more job, more sex, more money, more hours of sunshine, more years of your life; a state of panic that everything good will be taken from you too early, which makes you want to swallow the world before it ends up swallowing you.
I think most people have some sort of ghough, longing for more. It’s a human, and a very America, thing. There’s never enough. You wish you had something more.
As I age, I have less of this, though I do feel the passage of time. No panic about passing away yet, but I can imagine I will at some point. It’s why I find myself more willing to have adventures in life, even at a slightly uncomfortable financial cost. I never know how long I’ll be here.
Of the list above, I think money sometimes intrudes. I think about travel with my wife, or things that have to be fixed on the ranch, and I think “more money” would solve things. However, I know that’s not really the case, and I try to calm my psyche down, reminding it that I need to manage and live within constraints, enjoying and appreciating what I have.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows