A few choices I'd recommend:
SQL Skills - https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/database-engine/configure-windows/enable-encrypted-connections-to-the-database-engine
Brent Ozar PLF - https://www.brentozar.com/training/
Steve Stedman - http://stevestedman.com/consulting/training-classes/
You can also look at...

Here's the BOL article: https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/database-engine/configure-windows/enable-encrypted-connections-to-the-database-engine

We don't have a great article here, but we need one. I'll see if I can  get one up. The idea is...

You say import static data, does this include transactional data for tables that developers need? Or is it just lookup data?

Otherwise, this is fine, though I'd set this...

Arrgghhh, WRs didn't show up and despite a high score, apparently Mr. Ryan wasn't interested in his stats.

Grr.

I was actually owed beers, but I thought this would be a funnier scenario.

Fortunately in the real world, the tally was much closer to zero.

Cut/paste? :laugh:

I love Prompt, and every once in awhile I don't have it and my productivity goes down.

I've definitely  enjoyed  templates over the years, and...

We usually do this with joins.

select l.*
from lineitems l
  inner join  orders o
   on o.orderid = l.orderid
where customerid = @customerid

LOL, I can  understand that. The serverless stuff is interesting for some things. Not sure I'd use it for ETL either, but you certainly could just query/update things. Tracking how...

It's documented. There are a set of features in SQL Server that make less sense at the databaase level. Linked Servers are instance level, so some architectural change is needed...

SHA-2 is available in Hashbytes() - https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/t-sql/functions/hashbytes-transact-sql
CHECKSUM() is MD5 (I think), which has a higher probability of collissions. Use HASHBYTES() instead.

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Also check if you have trustworthy on in databases or cross database ownership chaining.

Linked servers aren't supported in Azure SDB.

Are you trying to  perform distributed queries?  I assume you don't want to do ETL?

That zip is a Powerpoint deck for the presentation. Not code.
What Russ likely does is have a number of jobs that check and monitor other servers and report back...