You're asking a lot here.

Profiler is free and does this. Use that. No one else will likely develop a stable tool that can do this without a cost.

I'm not sure what you mean. He doesn't want to open the port between the servers so they can communicate? This is a business case. If you need replication, you...

No blanket way, keep the permissions with the stored proc and include

...stored proc code...

go

grant execute on (procname) to (role)

go

in every stored procedure code. You should have this stuff under source...

As mentioned above, the log is still written. Typically this is one transaction (or relatively few of them) and they are cleared out. However if you have an open transaction,...

Look up CREATE DATABASE in Books Online. This will give you the options and scripts to build a database. Do not use autoclose, autoshrink in your databases. They cause issues.

How...

I'd follow Greg's idea, use an operator to send an alert when things finish.

Note that I think sending an email on "positive" completion is a bad idea. You'll get used...

DO NOT SHRINK!

This is bad, ruins your index rebuild and can cause fragmentation. That could be part of your problem.

Can you better define how you know things are slow or...

You can do this, though I'd suggest not using a crossover cable and setting up a small hub/switch with a network in between. You might find this makes more sense...

The /3GB switch is only for systems with 4 or more GB or physical RAM. This specifically determines how physical ram is allocated between the user and process spaces.

For all...

I tend to agree with Anders here. I've not seen them stick around.

More, I'd find the connection that is causing the issue and terminate it. The table should disappear. Also,...

you have some pathing problems somewhere.

The way this works is you have an MDF, which stores your data, and an LDF, that stores your log records (track the changes...

Markus has the best advice.

Can you not just send some backups to tape or another disk and then delete them? I typically only keep 1-2 backups on disk.

Ahh, I hate those. Any chance you can open a case with MS? If you have TechNet or MSDN, I think you get some free ones.

This is likely some crazy...

YES!

You should know, but that doesn't mean you get to decide. There's a difference and a storage group needs to have control over their storage. Just as you want control...

That's a good question. I'd open the MS case, since they will need to give you proof anyway.

Love to hear the answer. My suspicion is they'll say it won't work....