select t1.col

from table t1

inner join tabe t2 on t1.col = t2.col - 1

Can you describe what query suppose to return in plain English?

Select C.Name, COUNT(O1.OrderId), COUNT(O2.OrderId)

FROM Customer C

LEFT JOIN Order O1 on C.ID = O1.CustomerId and O1.OrderDate between ... and ...

LEFT JOIN Order O2 on C.ID = O2.CustomerId and O2.OrderDate between ......

Question for tomorrow:

What was wrong with that question?

No query.

Generate triggers on fly - not really the best idea.

And how you gonna control datatype matching?

You better create SP to create audit triggers for listed tables. This SP can analyse...

From BOL:

F. Use COLUMNS_UPDATED to test more than 8 columns

If you must test for updates that affect columns other than the first 8 columns in a table, you must...

Seems you're looking into wrong direction.

Check what your SQL Server is doing. It must be some bad development: missing indexes, full table update instead of several rows update, cursors combined...

Function MUST NOT modify anything in database.

It just to display results calculated from current state and/or supplied values.

What you are trying to achieve must be done in SP or trigger.

Are you watching execution plan?

Try to find out what's causing such a big number of records in log file.

Type in Query Analizer EXECUTE <your SP name here>

and press CTRL+L.

It will show you estimated execution...

Which of the prices should Price1, which Price2, etc.?

That's nice telephone company!

Can you post its name? I gonna use it.

Imagine: you've made a lot of inernational calls, but you don't need to pay their bills. They will disconnect...

But are you ready to declare:

"Don't ever use function Object_Id()"

based on this test?

That's what Carl is trying to do.

You are clearly wrong about UDF and parallelism.

Here was a test where I compared using of 4 CPU and single CPU servers by UDF and inline SQL .

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/forums/shwmessage.aspx?forumid=8&messageid=238981&p=3

I take your point.

I built another test:

CREATE TABLE #Names (OName sysname COLLATE SQL_Latin1_General_CP1_CI_AS)

INSERT INTO #Names

select o.name from sysobjects o, sysobjects o1

-- (839056 row(s) affected)

SELECT...