The GetTheStanine procedure you posted is not setting a return value, it is doing a select. How are you not just getting zero from these calls?

EXEC @Energy...

Sorry... Didn't notice it before. The syntax to set a variable equal to the return code of a proc is

EXEC @Energy  = GetTheStanine @AppID,1,8; 
EXEC @Flex...

What is your definition of duplicates in this scenario? Please provide an actual example of multiple rows that comprise a duplicate (obfuscated if necessary).

There should be only one row for...

What is "a standard nine value"?

You didn't provide code for GetTheStanine. Does the GetTheStanine procedure return (not select) an integer value that you want in @Energy, @Flex, @Develop, & @Distort?...

Is the query optimized? Do you have the necessary indexes? If you provide DDL for the tables & views involved, the proc logic, & execution plan (obfuscate if needed to...

Why do you want to use such a non-standard format instead of just a standard CSV with column names in a header row? Or no header row if the data...

Self-join just means you are joining a table to itself rather than a different table. It works just like any other join.  Just as you would in joining different tables,...

In order to get the values on the same row, rather than unioning, you probably need to self-join on the key columns for the three cases.

Are all three always populated?...

I use this as the last step in multi-step jobs (with job steps set to go to next step on failure).

Note: I did not write this, and have lost track...

Recommend storing atomic values rather than denormalized lists. STRING_AGG() function makes it easy to return it to the client as a list if that's really required.

e.g., if you're trying to...

Yes, sorry -- right. Licenses are just licenses for a given edition.

As you suggested, I was focused on Std. vs. Enterprise. -- saw the word "Standard" and went on a...

basically the database security audit team ran guardium scan and found a finding that say fixed db roles such as datawriter, datareader, etc must not be assigned directly to user...

4. Do both versions perform the exact same and have the same features?

*  YES, no difference what so ever!

Not true. The gap has narrowed considerably since 2016 SP2, but there...

You can run a scheduled job to look for it w/ something like the following:

declare @recipientCSV varchar(8000)='recipients@yourcompany.com';
declare @subject varchar(1000)='ALERT - Trigger Missing or Disabled';
declare @text varchar(max)='Trigger ALERT...

Yes you can execute bcp via TSQL using xp_cmdshell. -- e.g., https://www.sqlservercentral.com/forums/topic/bcp-using-xp_cmdshell

You can also create Operating System (CmdExec) job steps.