I have to disagree when I see something like this.  There are no DevOps tools other than the human brain.  DevOps is not a set of tools... it's a culture.

Ok... first of all, your original BCP format file had what I believe to be 2 errors in it.  If you look at fileds 5 and 14 in the file...

Heh... sounds like a case of the following...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Razor_and_blades_model

There is no way that I'd grant any privs for any developer to create or manage anything on a production server.  Everything that ends up in prod should be tested...

I'm pretty sure that the only way that a DIF will fail like this is...
1. The original backup wasn't actually taken and the "apparent" original backup file wasn't actually for...

Do indexed views work on the cloud?  If they do, then that will likely have all of the features you seek for this.

Does column 5 make consistent use of being wrapped in double quotes?

I've spit out a whole lot of craft beers and imports.  Although I'll freely admit to an unsophisticated palette, I've never spit out a Bud or PBR.  As for warm...