I'd need to experiment to be sure, but I suspect that the account that SQL Server is running under can't access the blob storage. Focus on security.

In addition to moving the databases (backup and restore, unless you want to talk third party tooling) and configuring security (which you've received a lot of good advice around), one...

Yikes. Just glanced back through and spotted this:
isnull(c.DBAction, '') != ''

That's another performance killer. You have a ton of tuning opportunities here without even looking...

It doesn't matter that you're not an MVP or whatever. You can teach beginners sessions in tech. Do one on backups. WAY too many people are still getting that wrong....

Stuff like this is going to kill performance:

convert(int, sessionUpdate.OBJECT_ID / @idRange) = 6


I didn't read every line or go through it all, but...

You can look to the Extended Events system_health session for some information. There is an event on long running queries that will be  in there and might supply you with...

Except for materialized views (more on that in a moment), a view is just a query. Yes, it looks and acts like it's a table. It's not. It's just a...

Let anyone do anything in any way that they want to with backups... right after they prove that they can do a point in time restore as easily and quickly...

Yeah, and you're in "all" and "auto" for the capture... Maybe change the capture mode. Auto only captures queries that are called more than three times or run longer than......

If you really want to automate this and run it all the time across multiple environments and multiple databases, I'd strongly suggest getting a copy of Redgate SQL...

I have not seen this behavior. Is the size allocated smaller than the actual size? I've seen that cause problems. Try flushing it to see if that clears the collection....