To me this seems like a weird request, but there are a few things I am unclear on with it.  First, does this need to be in a while loop? ...

To answer your questions:

1 - SQL (via SSIS) or C# can pull data from a CSV file (and multiple other formats) into SQL Server

2 - You can create as many...

If Microsoft does go this route, I am all for it, but they would need to be careful with it too.

Thing is some of that is already possible.  Parallel job...

First, I'd be looking at getting onto a newer SP for SQL 2008 R2... that thing is pretty old and out of mainstream support.

Next, I'd be asking a few questions:

1...

The error you listed to me looks like an error from Windows service manager (or SQL Server Configuration Manager), not from Polybase.  I would check the log files and/or windows...

I would just like to add that if Die Hard is a Christmas film, so is Batman Returns which is on my watch list this Christmas.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

What do the logs say?  They will very likely tell you exactly why it can't start the service.

Without seeing any logs, my first thought is permissions.  Does the Polybase service...

That is odd that it works fine in the web browser and in MS Word, but not PDF.  This makes it sound like the tool that is creating that PDF...

Like Jeffrey, I would be cautious about removing sysadmin via an automated task.  One typo in that script and you could blow out all sysadmins.

Permissions are something I prefer not...

I do not have one of those, but I am pretty sure they are essentially just HID's (human interface devices) in Windows and LIKELY is simply a mouse-emulator

I have a...

I would reach out to Microsoft on this one as it sounds like a bug that they will need to fix.

If they are not rendering on workstations, it sounds like the fonts are not properly installed on the workstations.

My first step when working with fonts is to make sure that...

I think you are missing a "LEFT" on your RIGHT.  You have the RIGHT side of the string, but have too much.  So, what you probably want is:

            
December 16, 2020 at 9:22 pm
            
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My understanding of this - the assembly needs to be signed outside of SQL Server.  If you have the source code to the assembly, then you should be able to...

Did you follow the directions in the error message?

"By default, only administrators have access to the Integration Services service. On Windows Vista and later, the process must be running with...