In addition to what everyone else said -
it's worth noting that T-SQL scalar user defined functions (UDF) are generally horrible and cause all kinds of problems even when...

One thing you could try (but this is a little advanced and would require a little reading) is to use an XML Transform to generate a word document. Note

Great question - I think this is a good topic that isn't talked about enough.

Per Books Online:

"While the default value of 5 is retained for backwards...

Just read through this. Very good stuff. I've unwillingly become a part-time accidental DBA at work and deal with a my share of failing SQL instances. This will be good...

Unless it's someone in my field I say "computer stuff". Anything beyond that I generally get a blank stare.

pietlinden beat me to it - here's what that solution would look like:

-- Sample data
USE tempdb
GO
IF OBJECT_ID('dbo.t1') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE dbo.t1;

I'm stuck on the last Sunday at the moment but here's how you handle the first Monday. 
Lynn Pettis has a great post about common date routines.  I...