I wrote a quick and dirty Cold Fusion script that kinda-sorta does what I want:

<cfquery name="GetProperties" datasource="#sitedsn#">

SELECT table_name,column_name,description FROM Descriptions ORDER BY table_name,column_name

</cfquery>

<cfset counter=1>

<cfoutput query="GetProperties">

 <cfquery name="CheckProperties" datasource="#sitedsn#">

  SELECT   *

  FROM   ::fn_listextendedproperty...