'Twas The Night Before Christmas

  • Abbs

    Default port

    Points: 1444

    'Twas the night before Christmas in the data warehouse

    Not a feature was stirring, nor a click of a mouse.

    Overclocked by the technicians, the machines had been with care

    In hope of better performance, warranties voided with fanfare.

    The managers were nestled all snug in their beds,

    With visions of Vista dancing in their big heads.

    And Ops in the data centre, and I in my flat,

    Had just settled down for a well deserved night-cap.

    When out of the blue the pager went off,

    I sprang from my chair to turn the damn thing off.

    I picked up the phone as quick as a flash,

    To the data centre now, I had to dash.

    The moon on my car, all covered in snow,

    I brushed it aside, but before I could go,

    When what should I see,

    But Bill Gates and co taking a Wii.

    With a non-Windows driver, so lively and quick,

    For my digital camera and my Linux laptop,

    More rapid than Windows, his curses they came,

    And he whistled and shouted and called out some names:

    "Hydra and Sphinx, Shiloh and Yukon,

    Katmai and Longhorn" are the words that he'd spoken.

    I switched on the torch, to the night bare he all,

    Now crash again, crash again, crash again did they all.

    To the data centre now, like a hurricane fly

    When I met with an obstacle, I mounted the pavement and flew through the sky

    Past the house-tops, my car of course flew,

    Like a 747 heavily-laden and wings broken too.

    And then in a moment, I landed on the roof

    of the data centre building with one giant "boof"

    As I opened my door, and was turning around

    Bill Gates again, came with a bound.

    He was dressed in jumper and jeans

    His clothes were surprisingly clean,

    A bundle of toys wrapped in a sack

    He was a peddlar of Backgammon and Minesweeper in this Service Pack.

    His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry

    His cheeks were like roses, in his hand a BlackBerry.

    His droll little mouth was wide open in smile,

    His chin jutting out like a cabinet file.

    The stump of a pencil he held tight in his teeth,

    And his breath encircled his head like a wreath.

    He had a broad face and a little round belly,

    That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

    He was chubby and plump, making a prat of himself,

    And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

    A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

    Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.

    He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

    And filled all the buffers; then turned what a jerk,

    And laying his finger aside of his nose,

    And giving a nod, the servers they froze.

    He sprang off the roof, to his team gave a whistle,

    And away they all flew and the snow came down like rain drizzle.

    Then I heard Ops exclaim, with Bill Gates out of sight,

    "The servers have crashed, this has not been a good night."



    https://www.abbstract.info/ - my blog
    http://www.sqlsimon.com/ - my experiences with SQL Server 2008

  • RBarryYoung

    SSC Guru

    Points: 143327

    So who wrote this?

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • Steve Jones - SSC Editor

    SSC Guru

    Points: 721524

  • RBarryYoung

    SSC Guru

    Points: 143327

    I ask because I think that I have seen it before and it is customary to give people credit for their work.

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • Abbs

    Default port

    Points: 1444

    I wrote it, but have posted it on a couple other sites. It's based on the poem by Clement Clarke Moore.



    https://www.abbstract.info/ - my blog
    http://www.sqlsimon.com/ - my experiences with SQL Server 2008

  • RBarryYoung

    SSC Guru

    Points: 143327

    Well then, Kudos!

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

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