Yes, like I said I did all of the steps that Microsoft recommends in their documentation in technet, I've set up SQL Agent mail many times, both on clusters and standalone servers (and the server in question is a clustered virtual server).
I logged in as the account that SQL Server / SQL Server Agent runs under, configured a profile, opened up Outlook, sent and received email, etc.
I'm just looking for an alternative approach to getting this working. I know the info has to be in either a system table or the registry somewhere. I've never had this much trouble setting up Agent Mail. usually it quits working and fixing it is the problem.
I looked all over this site (of course) and googled, but it looks like this is one of those things that everyone uses EM for, and no one configures it through T-SQL or the command line.