Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • GilaMonster (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/26/2015)


    Jack Corbett (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    I can almost understand 3700 lines, but 113 loops! Wow. I'm sure you'll be able to get it to run much faster, but I'd need a couple of days just to figure out what it is doing. You don't happen to have access to a spec for the original development.

    BWAAHAA!!!! Spec docs???

    What's a spec?

    I know I've heard people talk about them, can't recall ever seeing one. Must be some mythical thing like a unicorn.

    It shares a flat with the documentation. 😀

    Need an answer? No, you need a question
    My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
    MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

  • Koen Verbeeck (1/26/2015)


    GilaMonster (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/26/2015)


    Jack Corbett (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    I can almost understand 3700 lines, but 113 loops! Wow. I'm sure you'll be able to get it to run much faster, but I'd need a couple of days just to figure out what it is doing. You don't happen to have access to a spec for the original development.

    BWAAHAA!!!! Spec docs???

    What's a spec?

    I know I've heard people talk about them, can't recall ever seeing one. Must be some mythical thing like a unicorn.

    It shares a flat with the documentation. 😀

    I thought it was the basement, a dark dank place where nobody goes :w00t:

    Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
    Anon.

  • HELP! I'm having a "restoring database from a NAS share" issue and the problem appears to be the server, not the NAS / network. Can someone stop by and give me some thoughts?

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • David Burrows (1/26/2015)


    Koen Verbeeck (1/26/2015)


    GilaMonster (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/26/2015)


    Jack Corbett (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    I can almost understand 3700 lines, but 113 loops! Wow. I'm sure you'll be able to get it to run much faster, but I'd need a couple of days just to figure out what it is doing. You don't happen to have access to a spec for the original development.

    BWAAHAA!!!! Spec docs???

    What's a spec?

    I know I've heard people talk about them, can't recall ever seeing one. Must be some mythical thing like a unicorn.

    It shares a flat with the documentation. 😀

    I thought it was the basement, a dark dank place where nobody goes :w00t:

    There's a reason it's called a "bomb shelter".

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Jeff Moden (1/23/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    I guess I would ask them what the original requirements are for the code and just start over.

    Jeff please pack up your pork chop launcher and head to Kansas City. I am going to need backup on this one. Every single one of those while loops does nothing but increment a counter. All they need to be is a simple count(*) + 1 instead of looping.

    And did I mention this procedure repeatedly hits a table heap with 27 million rows with the exact same query. :w00t::w00t::w00t:

    LMBO

    :w00t:

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • Grant Fritchey (1/24/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    Can't you just put an index on it?

    <ducking & running>

    Or partition it? :hehe:

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • David Burrows (1/26/2015)


    Koen Verbeeck (1/26/2015)


    GilaMonster (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/26/2015)


    Jack Corbett (1/26/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    I can almost understand 3700 lines, but 113 loops! Wow. I'm sure you'll be able to get it to run much faster, but I'd need a couple of days just to figure out what it is doing. You don't happen to have access to a spec for the original development.

    BWAAHAA!!!! Spec docs???

    What's a spec?

    I know I've heard people talk about them, can't recall ever seeing one. Must be some mythical thing like a unicorn.

    It shares a flat with the documentation. 😀

    I thought it was the basement, a dark dank place where nobody goes :w00t:

    Something something, a sign saying 'Beware of the Leopard' 😀

  • SQLRNNR (1/26/2015)


    Grant Fritchey (1/24/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    Can't you just put an index on it?

    <ducking & running>

    Or partition it? :hehe:

    Do both, surely, and also change the performance by adding an IGNORE_CONSTRAINTS table hint on all tables being updated in any way. :w00t: Perhaps this could be combined with READPAST and NOLOCK hints wherever approriate. :sick:

    Tom

  • What it's like, at this exact moment, everywhere in Massachusetts.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • Grant Fritchey (1/26/2015)


    What it's like, at this exact moment, everywhere in Massachusetts.

    Summer, glorious summer.

    Might swing past my parent's place tomorrow for a swim, it's going to be a hot evening.

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • ... Mark one off, 33 days on the calendar to go. 33 days on the calendar to go, 33 days to go, ...

  • TomThomson (1/26/2015)


    SQLRNNR (1/26/2015)


    Grant Fritchey (1/24/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    Can't you just put an index on it?

    <ducking & running>

    Or partition it? :hehe:

    Do both, surely, and also change the performance by adding an IGNORE_CONSTRAINTS table hint on all tables being updated in any way. :w00t: Perhaps this could be combined with READPAST and NOLOCK hints wherever approriate. :sick:

    Be sure to partition it on the column that changes most frequently. THEN apply NOLOCK everywhere you have a cursor.

    You know, you might be able to nest some of those cursors. :hehe:

  • Ed Wagner (1/26/2015)


    TomThomson (1/26/2015)


    SQLRNNR (1/26/2015)


    Grant Fritchey (1/24/2015)


    Sean Lange (1/23/2015)


    Oh lordy...I just handed a stored proc and was asked advice on how to make it faster. The proc is 3700 lines long, there are almost 200 parameters and another 200 variables. I copied the sql to a text file and there are 113 while loops. Hope they don't want this done quickly as a complete rewrite is in my near future.

    Can't you just put an index on it?

    <ducking & running>

    Or partition it? :hehe:

    Do both, surely, and also change the performance by adding an IGNORE_CONSTRAINTS table hint on all tables being updated in any way. :w00t: Perhaps this could be combined with READPAST and NOLOCK hints wherever approriate. :sick:

    Be sure to partition it on the column that changes most frequently. THEN apply NOLOCK everywhere you have a cursor.

    You know, you might be able to nest some of those cursors. :hehe:

    Oh the cursors are unbelievably stuipd. They are used to count!!!

    set @Counter = 1

    while exists(select * from StupidlyLargeHeap (nolock) where someColume = @Counter) begin

    set @Counter = @Counter + 1

    end

    Then at the very end this proc sends a database mail. Gee I can't imagine why it is slow. :w00t:

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  • Grant Fritchey (1/26/2015)


    What it's like, at this exact moment, everywhere in Massachusetts.

    That's awesome. Of course, last night I told my wife, "make sure you fill the gas tank and get bread and milk tomorrow".

  • Grant Fritchey (1/26/2015)


    What it's like, at this exact moment, everywhere in Massachusetts.

    BWahahahahaaha.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

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