I’m feeling a bit uninspired this week, and I plan on only doing one post this week, so I figured I’d just post some dad database jokes. If you’ve got any please add them in the comments, I’d love to see them.
- I saw a great movie about databases today.
I can’t wait for the SQL. (I didn’t say they would be good jokes)
- A couple of relational databases walked into a NoSQL bar.
They left because they couldn’t find a table!
- Why did the DBA leave her wife?
She found out it was a one-to-many relationship.
- A guy was keeping a spreadsheet of her exes. One of them had gone to jail and so ended up celebrate against his will.
They were stored in an incel-in-cell ex-excel cell.
- I’ve got a database of Hip hop music. It’s a CarDB.
- A database professional walks into a bar and joins two tables.
- Why are sailors terrible DBAs.
They try to make all of the data float.
- What did the DBA say after recovering a corrupted database?
Keep calm and query on.
- A guy started a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables. It’s called Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia.
- Why was the DBA on the space station so frustrated?
They kept dropping tables but they wouldn’t go anywhere!
- If you decide to store all these jokes they should really go in a dad-a-base.