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Data jokes

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I’m feeling a bit uninspired this week, and I plan on only doing one post this week, so I figured I’d just post some dad database jokes. If you’ve got any please add them in the comments, I’d love to see them.

  • I saw a great movie about databases today.
    I can’t wait for the SQL. (I didn’t say they would be good jokes)
  • A couple of relational databases walked into a NoSQL bar.
    They left because they couldn’t find a table!
  • Why did the DBA leave her wife?
    She found out it was a one-to-many relationship.
  • A guy was keeping a spreadsheet of her exes. One of them had gone to jail and so ended up celebrate against his will.
    They were stored in an incel-in-cell ex-excel cell.
  • I’ve got a database of Hip hop music. It’s a CarDB.
  • A database professional walks into a bar and joins two tables.
  • Why are sailors terrible DBAs.
    They try to make all of the data float.
  • What did the DBA say after recovering a corrupted database?
    Keep calm and query on.
  • A guy started a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables. It’s called Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia.
  • Why was the DBA on the space station so frustrated?
    They kept dropping tables but they wouldn’t go anywhere!
  • If you decide to store all these jokes they should really go in a dad-a-base.

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