... And you'll have to come saw my foot off to get me to write dynamic SQL. ;-)
Then you are discounting one of the best tools for dealing with a number of data processing problems (of which the open-ended-search is a prime example). I have used it any number of times to achieve 4-5 ORDER OF MAGNITUDE performance gains while simultaneously bringing concurrency up from a molasses-in-February pace.
Kevin G. Boles
SQL Server Consultant
SQL MVP 2007-2012
TheSQLGuru on googles mail service