Sorry, this might be my dumbest post yet. But I can't seem to find a simple explanation.
I'm unclear on exactly what "RETURN" does. BoL says it "[immediately] exits unconditionally from a query or procedure."
But then in the context of a UDF, you have to have a RETURN clause, which is followed by stuff that you want to be returned.
So which is it? Does it exit immediately, or does it return stuff that follows it?
And then, to make matters worse for stupid people, there's also "RETURNS"...
"If I had been drinking out of that toilet, I might have been killed."