My suggestion is that most DBAs (at least the good ones) aren't anything like that at all.  I can't speak for others but I'm kind, courteous, helpful and a couple of other Boy Scout terms and I frequently and enthusiastically say "Yes" to requests.  I take the time to mentor folks and help their code really cook giving them full credit because my job isn't about collecting attaboys.  So when I say "No" to something, people need to stop and listen.

And, as I'm sure it is with many DBAs, it's the people that are asking DBAs that are actually negative because they don't remember all the times the DBA said "Yes" or saved their hinnies when something went haywire without actually pointing any fingers at anyone but quietly mentored the people or the group of people whose code or actions caused the issue and how to avoid it in the future.

And, no... I disagree with the analogy that developers are like vampires, as well.  They're just trying to get their jobs done (although some need to start thinking).  If you want to point the finger at who is actually responsible for the rift between Developers and DBAs, that would be the managers and BA's that think Rome can be built in a single day and write their schedules and requirements that way.  Even though I don't care for what people consider to be "Agile Methodology", it DOES cause people to slow down (contrary to popular belief) and work on one thing at a time despite the whip of the uniformed task masters. 😀

And, sorry but no... You and your application can't have sysadmin or dbo privs.  It's just not necessary to take on that risk.  Here's how to do it right and how we can continue to pass audits.