Context is very important. We each deserve to show to and be shown respect from others.
One should not automatically expect the immediate attention from others though.
For those working under stress (and especially a looming deadline or emergency), their tone may be less courteous than usual. As long as the circumstances are clear, it should be accepted.
I won't be too surprised, for example, if the sysadmins aren't able to help me with a rights' problem if one of the load-balancers has gone down and it's all hands on deck. If their tome with me is less than its usual politeness, then the reason is clear.