Why build what has already been built?

Check the websites like http://www.componentsource.com

Use CONVERT with a style parameter of 121, then just replace all the chars you don't need.

SELECT 
    REPLACE(
        REPLACE(
            REPLACE(
                REPLACE(
                     CONVERT(varchar(35), GetDate(), 121)
                , '.', '')
            , ':',...

Using SQL-DMO, you'd have something like this,

 Dim oSrvr ' SQL-DMO server object
 Dim oDb ' SQL-DMO database object
 Dim oQry ' SQL-DMO Query results object
 Dim sSQL ' SQL string to execute
...

The behaviour you are witnessing is connected to the error messages you're getting. You have a table where the size greatly exceeds the maximum size and subsequently altering that table...

Echoing David's post, this is an atrocious design. I reckon it would be pretty safe to say that the architect of this table has no idea about basic database design...

As you'll be using IDE, the disk I/O subsystem will be your bottleneck. Probably the best you could do is have two disks one on IDE1 the other on IDE2.

If...

Well yes I did take your suggestion and try it, given the result I got I presumed you hadn't tried it first.

I changed the query in my initial post to...

There is a big difference between calling in-built functions and your own user defined functions.

Take a look at a profiler trace and you will see exactly what

Why create a function for something that can be achieved in on T-SQL statement?

Your main problem with the workstation playing the role of the server will be the I/O subsystem, you don't normally have multiple SCSI arrays in a workstation? What sort of...

Without seeing any of the code you're using it's a little hard to give an clear response.

Best guess would be that your executing the xp_cmdshell from the trigger and the...

Hmm ... I recognise that solution ...

Are you sure thats what you need? Wouldn't this remove all zeros and not just the preceeding ones?

DECLARE @Var table (col1 varchar(10))

INSERT INTO @var VALUES ( '000H.K6' )
INSERT...

Given the way you are trying to achieve the result, you won't be able to do without the cursor. If the table list is long you could change the cursor to...

So basically you're running this SQL statement over every table in the database. Some of the tables don't contain the column you're referencing, so you want to ignore the "invalid...